Thanksgiving 2009

We have had a fabulous time with my family here in Louisiana visiting us. We have cooked, eaten, laughed, played, slept - and enjoyed every single minute of it. Noah's been in HEAVEN with Jan-Jan, Keddy and Graddy all here! He's got a new playmate at every turn and has had a blast being the center of attention.

We got a new Persian kitten for my 30th birthday last week. Her name is Gumbo (Dan named her) and Dan bought her for me - he completely surprised me. 2 weeks ago, we went and looked at the litter and I picked out the kitten I wanted. I went and bought everything necessary to bring her home. She was to be my bday present from Dan. However, the next day, the lady called me and told me that she'd been accidentally sold by her husband who didn't know she'd been promised to me... I was sooo sad! I have had the hardest time getting over Maria so this was a blow.

That happened on Monday but Friday morning (my birthday), Dan woke up, showered and put his uniform on like any normal day. About an hour later, he came into the house with the same kitty I had been told had been sold! Whoo hoo! I was so surprised. Good Danny :) And Piper and Noah love this little gal. Dan was the person to have bought her so the lady didn't TOTALLY tell a lie.

This weekend, we are loading up the Hawkins/Beall clan and heading down to Lafayette, Louisiana for the Troy/ULL game. It is the final game of the regular season and we are excited to go cheer on the Trojans. It will be so much fun staying at a hotel with my family - we always have a blast at away Troy games. And we are getting ready for the New Orleans Bowl in December!

Tonight, we are all going out to celebrate my 30th bday as a family. It is a week past my day but my dad's taking us all out to dinner to have the "official" family party! I can't wait.

Small Announcement

We thought you would all want to know that our brood is expanding! We are very, very excited about this news.

November Cuteness

I just love my little Noah. He's not so little anymore... 21 months and 32 pounds. But he just adores his Mama and his Daddy. And I have never felt more blessed. He thinks it is hilarious to climb onto the dining table and "eat" the fake fruit and cinnamon pinecones on display next to the Waterford candleabras I also have on the table....

Noah experienced his first Louisiana State Fair. It was quite the experience... Never seen more rednecks and interesting people in all our lives but we had a great time. We shared some fudge soaked funnel cakes, a huge family-size ice cream cone and a couple of "Noah" rides. He had a lot of fun. (You might notice some red spots on his nose... that is because he insisted on running as fast as possible down our neighbor's driveway and busted his nose up from here to next Halloween.)

This month, he's enjoyed celebrating his Daddy's 30th birthday and will also enjoy opening gifts on my 30th birthday (Friday, November 20th). Any present wrapped seems to turn into a present for Noah! Dan got the most amazing home surround sound system possible and Noah had so much fun setting it up with his Daddy. On Dan's birthday morning, we had huge, hot cinnamon rolls, cheesy eggs and fresh fruit. Noah (surprise, surprise) thought it was in celebration of him! Dan recieved tons of sweet cards from friends and family and awesome gifts like (size 14... impossible to find!) Quiksilver flip-flops.

He also loves to swing in our backyard. The swingset we have is dilapidated but "Santa Jan-Jan and Graddy" are bringing him a NEW swingset this year. He's never gonna be as excited as I am about this!

We are getting ready for the holidays around here: he frequently sings his versions of Christmas songs and likes to rearrange the ornaments on "Jan-Jan's tree" (we have the tree in the guest room and in Noah's room already up since Jan-Jan, Graddy and Aunt Keddy come this weekend.) He LOVES school. Each Tuesday and Thursday morning, Noah wakes up talking about "Tarlie, Tarlie" (Charlee, Charlee - his 1 year old school-girlfriend) and "Ubbbbaaa - Ubbbbbaaa" (his teacher has taught him "Hubba-hubba"). Below is one of the styling outfits he wore to his school to impress the ladies!

My February 20th

I have been a Christian for the majority of the life that I can remember. I remember being in my bed in Talladega, Alabama with my mom and my sister and accepting Jesus into my heart. However, I couldn't have been more than 5 years old.

I remember the glow of the hallway light reflecting off of the beautiful face of my Mama and the way my sister and I were laying in my white bed and the yellow flowered wallpaper covering the walls of the dark room. I can still hear the tape "Good Night, Sleep Tight" playing softly on the cassette player in the bathroom between my and Kelly's rooms.

Fast forward to February 13, 1993. I was a stupid 13 year old suffering acne, being too skinny and too tall and too big footed for my age (I wore a size 10 shoe, was 5'7.5" tall and weighed a whopping 100 lbs). I was suffering through my first crushes, my first heartaches caused by mean "best" friends and many other ailments that a 13 year old suffers.

But at the Sunday church service at Disciple Now 1992, I made my way down the aisle at the First Baptist Church of Troy (before all of the gorgeous renovations - green carpet, bad fake flowers, and all). And in front of my mom, dad and Kelly and along with several of my close girl friends, I professed publicly that Jesus was indeed the Lord of my life.

You all know that I do a lot of my time with the Lord these days while I am out on my morning jogs. I tune into my iPod and listen to my favorites praise God: NeedtoBreathe, Fernando Ortega, Amy Grant, Third Day, Mercy Me. But today was spent listening to one of my all time favorites, Steven Curtis Chapman. Many of you know that in May of 2008, his son accidentally ran over one of his precious adopted daughters. Her name was Maria and she was 5 when she died. He just released his new album "Beauty Will Rise" this past month. To try to explain the depths of grief he dives into is futile; you can only know how painful that album (and his journey has been) is if you listen to it.

One of his songs is entitled "February 20th." He wrote it in honor of the day that his sweet daughter, Maria, accepted Jesus into her heart. Here are several lines of the lyrics:

"February 20th 2008
on the floor with her mom putting her shoes on
getting ready for another day
February 20th she says mom is it true
does God really have a big big house
and does it really have a lot of rooms.
and she said i really really want to go there
and i said so why don't we just talk to him.
and that's what we did February 20th

February 20th i did my best to explain.
how it is that we all want to be with god
how it was the savior came.
February 20th
if its true what he said that god himself sang along with the beautiful song of rejoicing in heaven
and she prayed Jesus come and please live in my heart.and someday can i come live with you
and we could never had imagined that'd she'd be going there so soon..."

My heart cried out as I listened to that song. When I publicly professed to my little world in 1993 that Jesus was my Lord, I did so exactly 15 years and 1 day to the day that I brought Noah into this world. I had no idea the responsibility that I would be taking on in a decade and a half from that day.

Now I have a beautiful almost-2-year-old who, at the end of every day, asks to say his "paaayers" with me and his daddy. Noah finishes our prayers as a family at night with a great big "AMMMMEENNNN." He says many times a day "I yuv you, Jeee-sus." My eyes fill with tears everytime I hear him say that.

While he doesn't yet understand the gravity of what he's saying when he tells Jesus he loves him, he will one day. And that is a responsibility that Dan and I do NOT take lightly. We know that it is our duty to teach him about who Jesus is and why, how, when He died. I long for the day that I can be present when my little one accepts MY Lord into his innocent little heart. I cannot wait to be witness to Noah's "February 20th."

Great Success!

Noah's a mess and loves to talk about his private parts and his urine and the act of urinating. He loves "Elmo's Potty Time" and talks about "tee-tee potty" all day long, but since he's a boy (first of all) and since he's only 20 months old, I haven't had it a priority to start seriously potty training him. Sure, we have the step up potty seat that goes over the big potty but short of letting him sit there and play, we haven't pressed the issue. Why press it and scare him off the idea, I say?!

But just last night, my 20 month old (which seems young to me...) ran to the potty sans diaper and said "tee tee, mommy?" So I pulled out the step up potty and let him sit there.... He tee-teed!!! I couldn't believe it! I tried not to overreact so I didn't startle him but I was excited.

Then today, we all 3 were out doing yardwork and got super dirty. So, I put Noah in the shower with me (he LOVES that). After the shower, he was doing his normal running-around-naked routine and in the middle of jumping on a pile of pillows, ran into the bathroom where I was putting on make up to say "potty mommy." I put him up on the potty and he started GRUNTING! He pooped!!! I am such a proud mommy I can't stand it.

He's such a baby to me in so many ways but he's growing up so fast. The kid can count straight to 15 for crying out loud. And he makes me and Dan question ourselves when we are driving because he sees things we would NEVER notice normally. He sees horses on billboards, busses a mile away, kitty cats on the side of the road... Noah's line of sight amazes me constantly.

I am overwhelmed by the blessing of that little boy. When I was told that my child would be the love of my life, I never, ever, never imagined the immense, incredible love that Noah would inflict in my heart. He's so smart, so beautiful, so sweet. He is even incredibly sensitive: when I pick him up from Mother's Day Out, there is an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair who's absolute joy in life is to sit by the door of the church and watch the kids coming and going. Noah makes a point to run up to him - and anyone, kid or adult, in a wheelchair - and hug them and say "Hi-iiii." He wants to make everyone feel special and his unpredjudicial attitude towards all moves me so much.

I am a proud, proud mom.

From the Mouth of MY Babe

My sweet little boy has always been a talker. He's been babbling since he was about 6-7 months old. He is just like my grandfather he was named after: a preacher man from Ireland! Noah's got the "gift of gab," there is no doubt.

He is only 20 months old and can count to FIFTEEN! I am not kidding you: he has been counting for about a month and sometimes goes from 1-5 and then 7,9,10, but in the past week, he's learned to go all the way to 15. I am not exaggerating that - I will videotape it and let you guys see what a genius this kid is.

Here are some other wild words that are in his regular vocabulary:
- Helicopter (comes out hel, lel, lel...opter but you get the drift!)
- I hear airplane: I eah ahhh-paanne
- I yuv u, Mommy - melts my heart
- Jan-Jan, Graddy, Poppy, Grammy, Keddy, Papu: his grandparents, Aunt Kelly and his dog, Piper
- He loves to yell at horsies and airplanes flying overhead: "Come heuh now!"
- Shoes, juice, food, car, truck, BUS!, book, puppy, kitty-cat... he says so many words - I could go on and on.
- Tyrone, Melmo: he loves these two t.v. characters
- Nemo: comes out "Meemo" but we got him a Beta fish this week and he named it "Nemo"

He's been naming body parts for a while, mostly his privates! He's fascinated with his "tee-tee," "boobies," and "bum-bum." His new favorite game is to sneak up on me or Dan when we are changing and hit our "bum bums." A flattering picture but, hey, I am honest! He LOVES to do that.

And just today while at the Base Exchange and while we were waiting in line right in front of about 7 pilots, Noah reaches up from the cart, grabs my chest and YELLS "Mommy's boobies!" I WAS HORRIFIED. I whispered quickly in his ear that that was Mommy's private part and he should be quiet but the damage was done and my face turned scarlet. The pilots got a huge kick out of it!

This afternoon, he was being especially trying. He grabbed my water bottle, unscrewed it and ran into the middle of the living room where he dumped out the whole thing. The entire time I was yelling for him to stop but he defied me. So, I got up, spanked him and put him immediately into his crib for a "time out."

Right away, he threw his toys and blankets over the side of the crib and screamed bloody murder. After a few minutes when he'd calmed down a bit, I went back in and got into his face and asked him if he understood why he was in time out. He said "Mommy, Watee (water), Soddy (sorry)." So, I said "When Mommy says no, you are supposed to obey me." He responded with "Okay Mommmeeeee" and continued to sob. But we hugged, said we loved each other and he went and picked up his favorite toys, Tyrone and Elmo, and placed them back into his crib. Dr. Dobson would have been proud of me.

Ahh, my little talker: already embarrassing me!

Halloween 2009

We had a great day! Although the levee right next to our home has broken and homes are being evacuated in our subdivision, we were able to get out and trick or treat with our friends, let Noah run around in his Elmo costume and then put him down so we could join our neighbors for our Halloween Block Party. It was a wonderful day!

So far, our home hasn't gotten any damage from the 20+" of rain (a first ever record here for October), our neighbors' home flooded badly. But they are safe and are slowly repairing the house. The waters will not crest for a few more days so we are continuing to pray that the levee holds and that this water is dried up by the now-gorgeous weather. We shall see! I guess this is just a side-effect of living in Louisiana next to a levee! The pastures next to the house where Noah likes to go see the horsies are now lakes - they are under about 3-5 feet of water. It is very sad.

We aren't being mandatorily evacuated yet and hope not to be. But our bags are packed just in case. Who knows where we will go... never been in this type of sitatution. The homes 2-3 blocks from ours though have been evacuated so it is definitely a likelihood we too will have to get out of here.

Noah loves "Melmo" and had a fun time being him for Halloween. He was so cute! And I was Dan's nurse because he dressed up as (I know, this is so politically incorrect..) Swine Flu. We won for best couple's costume! It was a great night!

Tonight we are taking Noah to the Louisiana State Fair. It is cold and with a full moon should be such a perfect fall night. We can't wait!

Die Myself

Won't you take this cup from me?
because fear has stolen all my sleep.
If tomorrow means my death
pray you'll save their souls with it.
Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.
Father let my heart be after you.
In this hour of doubt I see
who I am is not just me
so give me strength to die myself
so love can live to tell the tale.
~ Garden by NeedtoBreathe (2009)

Wow. WOW. When I hear this NeedtoBreathe song, I get chills. I love to listen to it while I am out running. We have that awesome privilege of asking God - the Father of the Universe - to let our hearts be after Him. We can do it just like Jesus did in the Garden. He begged His Father to spare Him and when he realized that wasn't going to happen, he begged to "die himself" and to have His prayers and words be used to save each of us.

What does it mean to "die myself?" I remember hearing that verse over and over again when I was at a Disciple Now retreat in the mid-1990s and I remember kind of rolling my eyes (that's a confession on my part). "Yeah, yeah... Let me 'die to myself' like the New Testament said..." Blah, blah -- the thoughts of a rebellious 13-year-old-psuedo-Christian. But here I am, 3 weeks short of 30 and I really get it. I do. How awesome to DIE to myself?! For Christ. For nothing else but the Savior I chose to serve.

Mark 8:34-37 "Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

We are called to a much greater purpose. Much greater than staying in shape, eating the right foods, saying the right things, buying the right clothes. We are called to be like Him, to take up His Cross. But, why is that so hard? I find myself asking that question daily. I lose myself in trying to be what I think I should be, trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, daughter that I can be. However, all I am called to be is everything He has made me. That's it - that's all He wants of me! What an awesome task but it is sooo simple.

I pray that I can continue to listen to songs such as the NTBreathe song "Garden" and be inspired to pick up His Cross where he left it and let the voice I know I was given because of His death resonate across "the Nations."

Homecoming 2009

What a beautiful word: Homecoming. Every time I have gotten to participate in a Troy University Homecoming, I get all fuzzy-feeling inside. It is really like "coming home." This was my family's 21st homecoming at Troy. THAT IS WILD to me! We came to Troy in 1989. And what a different school it was then. The scoreboard now stands on the Charles Henderson Middle School football field! It was miniscule in that even smaller stadium. Now we are a D-1A school playing SEC and #1 ranked teams. I am so proud of how far academically and athletically my school has come in 2 decades. It is GREAT to be a Trojan!

We got the "okay" for Dan to travel from his doctor and his boss about an hour before we made the drive. That was so exciting to have him home with us. He was to be in training in Indiana right now in prep for Afghanistan so each moment I have with him I count as such a blessing. He's healing great, by the way. Still on crutches but back to work tomorrow!

We stayed at my parent's gorgeous home at the Waters in Montgomery. It is such a resort-experience for me and Dan each time we go home. It is right on the lake and is the most magical place.

On Saturday morning, we loaded up and drove South to Troy in time for the awesome Troy Homecoming parade. It is always one of the highlights of my year! Noah loved it. He was beside himself, he had such a great time. And of course, my parents loved showing him off all day!

At the game, we sat in the Chancellor's box and enjoyed seeing so many great friends. Dan kept his foot propped up so being in recovery was great for him: it meant he could actually watch the game instead of having to socialize!

Noah kept everyone entertained throughout the game. He (of course) went right to his sweeper that they keep in the box and began cleaning the place. He's obsessed with cleaning supplies still! At one point, he went up to the Alabama Speaker of the House, the Alabama Governor and an Alabama State Senator who were all involved in a deep discussion and began to sweep their shoes. I couldn't believe it! But they laughed and let him. I got a picture of him in action. It was so cute.

We took our dog Piper with us this time since Maria has passed away. We didn't want to leave her alone so she made the long trip. She did great in the car and had such a fun time with her cousin, Ruby (my sister's 100+ lb Rhodesian Ridgeback). They tore the yard up but had a great time nonetheless!

Enjoy the photos! And Happy Fall! We LOVE this cooler weather and changing leaves - it is our first fall in 3 years.

Update

This is short because I have a toddler who won't nap and isn't doing well sleeping his regular 12+ hour nights (he's being IMPOSSIBLE lately!), a college class now in session full of undergraduate students requiring my undivided attention this term, and a husband still unable to even get up and walk to the bathroom unattended. Life's a little challenging logistically here! BUT.... so many of you have been faithful in asking us about how Dan's surgery affects his deployment.

The news - current as of today - is that this deployment is postponed for Dan. We are incredibly happy about that but still holding our breath. NOTHING is certain in the military till you are either on or not on a flight! But since Dan is still so immobile and still in so much pain, his commander made the decision to hold off sending him just yet. That doesn't mean he is "in the clear" but for now, he's safely home in Louisiana recovering from a pretty serious bit of surgery. We are thankful.

Thank you to ALL of you who sent cards and birthday wishes a month in advance. I assure you that each of them are being placed into the scrapbook that will accompany him on his inevitable future (soon) deployment. Dan's number is up so we are just waiting to hear the "where" and "when" because he's long overdue to go overseas. But, at least it isn't Afghanistan with the Army at this point. I will take anything over that.

Thanks again, we love you all and your prayers are still needed. We are an active duty military family continuing to go through a lot at this point in our lives. Your prayers are always encouraged and of course, I will continue to keep you updated.

On another note, here are some beautiful pictures of our impossible 20 month old. He is loving this fall weather here in Louisiana!

Happy 4 Years, My Love

October 15, 2005
A gorgeous early fall afternoon in Nashville, Tennessee. I was tired, maybe a bit hungover from the cheap champagne the night before. But I was the happiest bride around because I was becoming "one" with the absolute love of my life. Dan and I had done the whole long distance thing for 3 years. From 2002 to 2005 when we married, he was stationed in South Carolina and I was in Texas. It was nearly impossible to get stationed together unless I got out of the Air Force. So, one month before our wedding, I separated from active duty. And then we were able to marry and live together.
The week of our wedding, we found out we were to be moving to Hawaii in June 2006. Talk about some life changes on the horizon! But, we weren't bothered... we had 300 guests in town for our wedding and had a week + planned in St. Lucia. We were carefree - and kid free! All we had to worry about was each other and who would watch our cat (Maria). Life was incredible.
The morning of my wedding, I awoke with a headache and was sent back to bed - definitely not had enough sleep that week! But once I was up, and after a McDonald's run by my sweet sister, Kelly, and best friend, Lydia, I was somewhat ready to go.... My dad and I had to have our traditional run at Lipscomb's track though. THAT was hard to get through given my bad-champagne-headache! But, the memory of running with my daddy once more as a single girl is priceless. And that entire week, I had stayed at my Aunt Mamie and Uncle Bob's home... it was such a feeling of childhood for me. I have spent almost every night that I have ever been in Nashville throughout my life in their home. It is my "2nd home."I walked down the aisle at Woodmont Christian Church in Green Hills in my "dream dress:" Reem Acra's "Adored" dress of 2005. It was the first dress I tried on. My bridesmaids: Kelly, Brittney, Shannon, Lydia, Michelle and Annie walked down the aisle in champagne strapless gowns. They were visions. I couldn't have had more beautiful bridesmaids. My flower girls: McKenzie, Sutton, Gracie and Sarah Grayson (all my cousins) and my ring bearer, my cousin Sam were all dressed in hand made gowns/John Johns by my Aunt Dodie.
Seeing my intended at the end of the aisle tearing up as I walked down in my perfect dress and my cathedral length veil was everything I had ever imagined it to be.
My Aunt Mamie did most of the planning along with me - she's phenomenally talented. The flowers were the most vibrant fall colors. They made your eyes POP! And my precious Uncle Bob married us... I wouldn't have had another human on this earth recite our vows to us aside from my Uncle Bob.
Our reception was immediately after at Fontanel Estate just outside the Nashville city limits. It was the former log-cabin home of country star Barbara Mandrell. It was catered by Sodexho Marriott and was so gorgeous. I danced with my groom to Van Morrison's "Crazy Love" and then with my daddy to the song that he danced with at his and my mom's wedding in 1977: "Annie's Song." Dan danced with his mama to "Unforgettable." I could tell you that it was a perfect day but I would sound like I was bragging. To be honest, I was an exhausted and overwhelmed bride. But once we were in the honeymoon suite at the Hermitage in downtown Nashville, all was right with the world. I was with - finally - the man that God had ordained me to spend the rest of my life with. What a blessed young woman I was - and I still am.
Here we are 4 incredible years later with a love that grows more insanely deep each day and with a very active, smart and precious red-head to show for our love. Noah is the epitome of my and Dan's love for one another.
If I could go back and re-live October 15, 2005 I don't think I would. I would leave it just as it is in my memory: perfection. Praise God.

New Orleans Trip

We went down to New Orleans the weekend of 2 October. We stayed in the fabulous Hilton on St. Charles and really had a memorable weekend. I (Katie) developed food poisoning in the most severe way following our dinner on Saturday night but the SaturDAY portion was awesome! We took a carriage ride through the French Quarter, had a delicious breakfast at one of the famous places on Decatur Street, shopped, bought some artwork and had a really great day. Sunday, we had to check out early and head back North to Shreveport! I was so sick!

Maria

After a very roller-coaster-like weekend, I took my husband into his post-op appointment. That was after having the "boys" come this weekend, having my in-laws here this weekend (BLESS THEM!) and having a very insane 20 month old on my hands. I just had not been paying attention to the animals.

When we got home from New Orleans last weekend, I was fixated on the fact that I had food poisoning, not on the fact that our 9.5 year old cat had puked all over the house. And over the past week, I hadn't paid super close attention to the fact that Maria (who ALWAYS ate at 7 am and 5 pm on the dot) hadn't eaten much or touched her milk. She'd just slept and not done much else.

However, today when we got home from Dan's post op appointment, I noticed a supreme foul odor coming from my "baby girl." So when I looked in her mouth and realized that there was an abscess, I called her vet immediately. They said to bring her in right away.

I got there, in the middle of this incredible down-pouring of rain and brought my sweet kitty inside. Our vet ran some tests, sent me back out to pick up Dan's post-op prescriptions and told me to be back in a half hour.

When I got back, he told me that Maria's renal numbers were off the chart... in a deadly way. He told me that had I not brought her in, we would have had her start seizing at home within 24 hours at best and dead soon after. She'd developed serious ulcers in her mouth and was starving but couldn't eat because of the sores. She was anemic and dehydrated. He couldn't find a vein to draw blood from. It was awful.

I began to weep openly. I asked to call my mother-in-law, Carol, who was at my house with Noah and the boys. She had gone through this with their dog, Ebony, only a couple years back and I couldn't bear to say goodbye to Maria by myself. I had only left to get her checked out, not to put her to sleep.

The doc was super sweet and allowed me time to make the phone calls to Dan and my mother-in-law. But he stressed that every moment I struggled with my decision, Maria was hurting.

I came back in, said "do it NOW" and signed the paper work... after paying $200.00. Wow. $200 to kill your cat. Painful charge to approve. Before I had a chance to say goodbye and tell her what a precious addition she'd been to my life, the doctor had begun the process. She was THAT bad.

I asked to be with her in the process. But because she was so dehydrated and anemic, he couldn't find a vein. So he would have to stick her in the heart which would take about 30 seconds to make her die. I asked for sedation for her and he agreed. So, once I said "I love you" to my cat of almost a decade, he had a gas mask on her and began her final transition. I miss her already. She came to me at a time when I felt really alone - I was stationed in Texas by myself and was really struggling. I miss that warm body and sweet white face with the brightest blue/green eyes already.

To say that God is pressing us to trust him is such a challenge to accept - He's pushing me beyond all physical and emotional boundaries I ever expected possible at 29 and 3/4s. He's asking me to endure the rain and trust Him more than I ever have had to. That is HARD - so HARD and I am struggling. Even to put one's cat down in a time of complete struggle is such a sacrifice. When does the challenge to surrender stop?

I guess once I have totally surrendered.... I thought I had.

What a Week!

I must start by writing how sorry I am for asking and asking you all for prayers yet I have been so bad at keeping you all updated. We had one of the more challenging weeks imagineable last week. We had Dan's MRI last Monday. It revealed a massive tumor that the doctor said had to come out immediately. Yet the doc couldn't tell us what kind of tumor it was or if it was benign or malignent. That was a scary way to spend the week in uncertainty.

While I have been clear with you all that I was asking for the "rain" to come and while we really have been desiring and seeking God's total will for our lives, the "not-knowing" has been a very difficult thing to deal with. So many of you have asked how Dan's surgery will affect his deployment and the honest answer is "We do not know..." As of right now, Dan's still set to leave next weekend for training and that is what we are going with. Back to the surgery...

We finally got his surgery scheduled for this past Friday (2 days ago) here in Louisiana. Keep in mind, this is the day that his parents were arriving and the day before his 30th (early) birthday celebration. Both of those things on top of my new job starting this weekend with the beginning of Term II 2009 on Troy's eCampus! So, to say things were tough in our house this past weekend is a bit of an understatement. But we continue to take it all in stride because we have had no choice.

Dan's surgery was a bit more involved than we/the doctor expected. We dropped Noah off at our neighbor Joni's house at 5 a.m. At 7 a.m., she took her 2 year old Tyson and Noah to the other neighbor, Shannon, where Noah stayed for the rest of the day. PRAISE GOD FOR GOOD FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS! I was totally overwhelmed by the help they provided us.

So at 5 a.m. we were off to the hospital. We got there, got Dan into a room and spoke at length with the doctor. Initially, he was telling Dan that he was good to deploy as long as there was a surgeon at his next duty station equipped to tend to the foot. But, after what was supposed to be an hour surgery turned into an almost 3 hour surgery, the story changed. The doctor came right out to me and flashed a photo in my face (of the tumor), said that he didn't know what to call it but it was 7 cm long and had its own blood supply and had started to spread up his leg. His first words were "I will NOT release him into anyone else's care." What do we do with that? He's supposed to leave in a week! The Air Force is counting on him. But, the surgeon has the final say. So we wait.

Dan has spent the entire weekend with his foot in a boot, on crutches, serious pain meds and in his red recliner. The wonderful part of the weekend - aside from his folks' visit - is that his 3 roomates and best friends from college came in for a TOTAL SURPRISE! "Bansk" flew in from Mexico, and "Hammy" drove 18 hours, picked up "Tof" (who sang in our wedding - all three were groomsmen) in Kansas City and they showed up on our doorstep to an overwhelmed and ecstatic Dan! He has no clue. It was the best surprise I think he's ever received. And the incredible thing is that the three were only here for a total of 12 hours! It was such a testimony of their love for Dan. Thanks guys - we love you and are so thankful for your friendship. You will never know what it meant to us to have you here!

Dan's party was so awesome - we had 27 people come over for dinner and it was so much fun! Dan was really touched. And so many of you sent cards, memories, photos, gifts and Dan's still opening them. He is so overwhelmed by the amount of love and prayers that have been extended our way. We will not know for a few more days what the doctor's final word is on the deployment but he's still set to go. And we will still not know for a bit what the final tumor diagnosis is but we are confident that it is going to be a good report. I will obviously keep you posted.

Thanks again for your prayers and love - we are honored by your friendship and loyalty to us. Here are the photos from the weekend (including one of the 2 ft snake in our road in front of our house! Eww!

Dan's Party

I was planning a surprise 30th birthday party/going away party for Dan for next week here in Louisiana. I had to tell him about the party last night though when we learned of his surgery and that he'd be hobbling on crutches - there was no way his folks would be able to get him out of the house to distract him while I prepared for the party! We do have some surprises up our sleeves though so don't worry! He will be surprised in other ways.

I sent out only a few invitations but I wanted to let you guys know that if you are interested in sending Dan a card with some encouragement, a birthday wish, a funny story, anything that you would want to say to him, please do send something. I intend on putting all of the cards and notes into a folder for him to take on his deployment so he can pull them out when he's feeling alone.

Please let me know if you are interested in sending something - it would need to get here by next Saturday, 10 October, so he can open it at the party. If you want to, just post a comment or send me an email and I will email you our mailing address.

Thanks everyone! I want Dan to feel as loved and as appreciated as he possibly can this next Saturday, so send something his way if you can :)