I think my kids are both going through massive growth spurts right now. Noah's sleeping 13-14 hours at night and Ellyotte is waking up constantly (after sleeping 8 hours earlier this week...) and refuses to go into a deep sleep. It is leaving me wasted tired.
However, this time around, I am not stressed or negative or put out by her wakefulness. With Noah, I was constantly tired and complaining. But after surviving the blood clot, I have come to realize that each moment with my babies matters - even the late night, constant feedings. I delight in this baby girl God's given us and I might crawl out of bed, but you will not hear me complain. Praise Him for that strength and joy this time around. I wish I had had it with Noah.
Yet, I am still emotional - and probably a lot of that has to do with the exhaustion. This morning, Noah and I started our day by watching some old videos of him when he was a baby. I was overcome with sadness at how FAST time has gone since he was learning to roll over, stand, walk, talk. Even in a year, it is remarkable how much he has changed. We watched "talking pictures" (what he called the videos!) for about an hour and I just got more and more melancholy. It is unfair how fast life changes. And yet, I am overjoyed by the new life in our house and the stage of growth Noah is in right now.
Tonight was my first time trying to get both kids to bed alone! Dan had to volunteer out in Shreveport leaving me at the end of a long day with both of them hanging on me all day. I couldn't figure out how to bathe Elly, dress her, feed her all while bathing Noah, doing our bedtime routine that he will not allow to be changed in the slightest! Whew... two kids is SO much more challenging than one! If those mommies-of-one realized how much easier it is with one, they might put off having a second one for a bit longer (I might have been one of those mommies!).
It was quite a stressful first time for me - but I have a great sleeper in my firstborn and he was out for the count as soon as he laid down. I then had to spend the next 2 hours getting my secondborn to sleep! I had forgotten how incredibly unpredictable newborns can be in EVERY single thing that they do - including bedtimes. But, I was successful and am now officially going to bed an hour after Ellyotte :)
I have to remind myself constantly that things should be a lot different for our family - had Satan had his way on 27 July, I wouldn't be here to be tired, happy, hungry, in love, a mommy.... Complain? I will not - I might be super sleepy but the elation of being a mommy to these babies (sleeping or not) counters any negativity that creeps into my spirit.
"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." - Deuteronomy 30:19
2 comments:
So true Katie. I find myself tired and exhausted constantly too - but with just one. So I know you have to be! It is so easy to let ourselves complain, I will admit. Just last night Grayson only slept a total of two hours. But, like I told Joe this morning...This too shall pass. And then, we will wish for these days back when our babies are all grown up! You are right - God gives us children and the gift of being a Mother as a blessing. We should not take it for granted, but instead give thanks. Beautiful post...and so so true.
this post is so sweet katie! i'm so glad you're here to be tired, too ;) love you!
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