This Decade

I admit that I really dislike reading other blogs that go on and on and on... and on about how "blessed" the authors are. They aren't authentic. Speaking for only myself, I think blogs can not only be used to share your life stories and joy, but also your lessons learned and your pain. I tend to grow when I read that other peoples' lives aren't perfect either, and that there are challenges that I can read about and learn from. Again, that is just me. So, if I ever get too long winded about how "blessed" my life is, I do apologize. Because I am the first to be critical when others tell only the good and act like that is all that happens in their lives!

But this year, while challenging, has been a wonderful year. My family has remained healthy and happy, we had a great 3 years in Hawaii and had a smooth move to Louisiana, Dan dodged (slightly!) the 15 months abroad in Afghanistan - yes, because of a TUMOR, but still!, and we are excited to welcome our new addition in the year to come. God has been good to us.

Yet this Christmas season, my heart was incredibly burdened by the pain that others close to me were experiencing. The innocence that Christmas once held for me as a child is long gone and it is a battle to wrangle even a smidge of that innocent feeling each year as an adult. I so wish that that innocence was a guarantee to all of us for all of our lives.

2009 brought a lot of pain to many: this economy has caused monetarily stable families to go without and not be able to provide for their children this Christmas (we saw a lot of that here in Louisiana), my family has lost friends, namely our sweet friend/brother Chris Patterson just one month ago, the War on Terror hit way too close to home for my comfort causing me to be on my knees more than I have ever been before, and several of my friends have had horrible sorrows from family deaths to miscarriages. Yet, through it all, God remained present and His love remained unchanged for all of us.

I felt this year, more than others, that God cried with His children. I felt the sadness he experienced with each of us as we mourned - and continue to mourn - and He stands firm in His sorrow with us. However, the promise of HOPE continued to poke through the clouds this year. When I have felt so, so down and full of unspeakable sorrow, I have felt the HOPE that He wants us to know is ours if we allow ourselves to be available to it.

Decades in the 19-whatevers seemed to be really significant when they changed. This whole 2000 thing is just wierd to me! I didn't realize till yesterday that we are entering into a whole new decade (I know, obvious right?!). And I am not sad to say goodbye to this decade. I am not necessarily happy to enter into a new one, because it means that a) I am 30 and only getting older and b) that my sweet baby Noah is no longer a baby but entering the terrible-twos quickly. But the promise of a new decade is wonderful. Shoot, we aren't promised ANYTHING but the thought of entering a new decade is refreshing.

I started this decade a college sophomore who had just turned 21 with a lame boyfriend who wanted to do nothing but watch the ball drop - at 11:00 - in my parent's den in Troy. Even my parents were out that night. But towards the end of 2002, I met my soulmate and never looked back. Each year that I ring in with him brings a new level of intimacy and richness that I never thought one could find in a partner. To know that he's who I will be ringing in the new year with each year that we are allowed time on this earth together is awesome. I never have to wonder who my new year's kiss will be again! HA!

Katie leaves this first decade of the millenium no longer a Hawkins, no longer a single woman, no longer waiting to meet my firstborn. I leave this decade knowing (as I have for the past 17 years) that my heart belongs to my Savior, that I married God's PLAN A for my life and that he's the protector of my earthly heart. I leave this decade as a mom to my Noah Everard, as a new mom to our yet unborn baby and children to come, as a college professor, a little more out of shape than I want to be (but, hey, I am pregnant...!) and still childlike in my faith. My heart has been hardened in the past decade by heartbreak and stress, but my heart also continues to be healed by God's unwaivering love for me every day. I am never where I want to be in my walk with Christ, but I am so thankful that He's daily showing me where I can grow so I can move closer and closer to Him.

Praise God for new beginnings. I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Christmas in the Bayou

We had so much fun with the Beall clan here from Virginia and Pennsylvania! We chose to spend our holiday here since Dan was supposed to be headed to Afghanistan by now and are glad we didn't change that when his deployment was changed.

We laughed so much with Brad (Poppy), Carol (Grammy), Todd (Dan's brother) and Annie (Todd's gorgeous wife). We ate tons, relaxed, played, spoiled Noah rotten and really had a great time. It was a Christmas to remember!

I missed my mom, dad and Kelly so much but we have promised next Christmas to be with them at the Waters - with an almost 3 year old Noah and a new baby! They might want to send us home early :)

No, No, Hitting, and Total Aversions

Wow, what a hard thing it is to do to be in the beginning stages of a pregnancy and dealing with a TODDLER! I had heard that the toddler years - or the "terrible twos" - were nothing to laugh at, but come on!!! And add to that the fact that I have felt like a donkey kicked me in the face due to a nasty sinus infection and you have one hot mess of a Katie.

I haven't heard the word 'No' so much in the past 10 years as I have in the past few weeks in my house. I ask him for a hug first thing in the morning, I get a "NO, mommy," Dan asks him if he wants to watch t.v. with him and he gets a loud "NO, daddy." We can't get it right!

And the hitting?! Where did Noah learn that?! He thinks NOTHING of pulling his little arm back and slamming it into our faces - yes, faces - when he's mad about something. I cannot agree with Dobson's theory more: I have a "strong willed child." And he's violently strong willed.

It is so tough to figure out how to discipline him appropriately. We hate reacting to his hitting by spanking him but that is honestly the ONLY thing (coupled with a straight up crib time out) that will work. When his daddy spanks him on his bottom, it hurts his feelings so bad that he just whimpers (heartbreaking). But what else can we do?! We tell him "no hitting," we put him in time out, we spank when necessary, we pray.... what did you all do when you went through this phase? This is NOT okay at all.

It has been especially hard for me to parent lately because after recovering from an upper respiratory infection, travelling to Alabama for 2 weekends in a row, only to then develop the worst possible sinus infection - all while dealing with a different pregnancy than the one I had with Noah. There have been days that I wake up only to count how many hours till Noah's naptime and then bedtime! I feel so bad about that because my little boy has been seeing me at my weakest. But, a sweet husband who has allowed me to sleep tons and antibiotics are getting me back on my feet ASAP and just in time for the Bealls to visit for Christmas. Whoo hoo!

This baby hasn't made me downright sick yet (although I have had a few "episodes") but 'he' has given me exhaustion and aversions that I never experienced with Noah. If I go too long without eating in the early - late afternoon, I can forget it: I never catch up with the nausea. So I am constantly forcing myself to eat. And textures and consistancies are giving me fits this time around. I usually eat salad constantly and I cannot bring myself to eat salads at all. In fact, most anything I try to eat makes me nausceous. It is so foreign to me to be turned off by foods, but it is happening every single day.

The things I can't get enough of are Perrier, pickles, peanut butter, fruit and occasionally Taco Bell. And I have to nap at least once a day... which is hard to do now that my little boy is sleeping 13 hours at night straight and only napping about an hour - hour and a half. But I cannot complain: he does sleep at night allowing me to go to bed way early!

Dan's about to take off for 2 months to some training. He will leave right after the New Year. And my Term 3 course with Troy University starts the first of the year too so that will be a great way - along with Noah - to stay busy once he's gone. I will miss him terribly but anything is better than 15 months to Afghanistan. Praise God!

We have so much to be thankful for this Christmas season. Thank you for allowing me the chance to 'vent' about disciplining Noah and being sick with Baby Beall #2. We are overjoyed at the blessings that 2009 brought us; God has given us so much to be abundantly thankful for and 2010 will bring another incredible blessing in our 2nd born.

When I think about the road we were facing with Dan going away for 15 months and how he had to have immediate surgery that thus kept him from deploying, I cannot believe the way that God stepped in and answered our prayers. To think that he could be fighting a war so far away - something he hasn't been trained to do - brings me such humility because he was spared. And to think of the heartbreak that so many of our loved ones have faced this past year, it brings me to my knees with a thankful heart. God is good, all the time. Even when we don't understand His ways, we have to know that He loves us and wants only the best for us.

FDA Recall

I am definitely not one of those who emails everyone a forward as soon as it comes to my inbox. Nor is my husband. But today, he emailed me a warning he received at work regarding Slim Fast being recalled.

I have several boxes lying around because I was still working at keeping off my weight that I lost after Noah was born (and then I go and get pregnant again... HA!). So we are either going to take them back to Target to get a refund or just throw them out. I wanted to share this warning with you all. Pass it along.

http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=437&z=43

Santa Claus is Comin' to Town!

We went back to Alabama this past weekend, except this time it was to celebrate Christmas a bit early with my family. And this time, Dan was able to come with us. It was still sobering to be back home when just a week earlier, Noah and I had to unexpectedly head home to say goodbye to Chris. But it was joyous, nonetheless.

We had a wonderful time with my family. We laughed, opened Noah's gifts, ate (well, everyone else did... I am struggling a bit with this baby!) and relaxed while the rain fell. On Saturday, my dad took me and Dan out to buy a new laptop which was my 30th birthday present from my folks. We met up with my mom and Noah at East Chase in Montgomery and Noah got to have his first visit with Santa!

Thankfully, there was no line whatsoever so we had the place to ourselves for a bit. I tried to sit Noah in Santa's lap and he wouldn't have it. So it took my parents, Dan, the photographer and the elves to get Noah to relax and actually smile! He waited till after about 12 shots were taken to smile.... but we finally got one with him smiling. I certainly didn't want to be in the photo but one of us had to while the other parent tried to get him to crack a smile for the shot. He was typical Noah: as soon as he got down from Santa's lap, he wanted back up and Santa was all he talked about for the rest of the day!

Dan and I finally had a date night... it seems like ages ago since we last went to the movies. But we went to see "The Blind Side" and loved. There is nothing as refreshing as seeing a movie that is uplifting and happy. We had a great time.

This weekend we have Dan's work Christmas party and it should be a lot of fun. Then a week from today, we have the rest of the Beall clan coming to Louisiana for Christmas! We are really looking forward to seeing them and being all together: Brad (Poppy), Carol (Grammy) and Uncle Todd and Aunt Annie will be with us for the week. We can't wait!

I am hanging in there with Baby Beall #2. It is hard to believe I am expecting.... again. But, we are rejoicing in each day of this pregnancy. I have an off-base OB that I will see in the next week or so and am looking forward to hearing the little guy's heartbeat and possibly having an ultrasound.

I felt absoutely fabulous till about a week ago. Then I got an upper respiratory infection that did me in and I am still recovering from that. Unfortunately, I think it has turned into a sinus infection that I hope clears up soon. Pregnancy wise, I am absolutely wiped out most days! I don't remember this exhaustion when I was carrying Noah.

And although I am not constantly nausceous, I do struggle with night time sickness. It hits me about 4 pm and if I don't stay diligent about eating frequently (which I don't want to do because my stomach hurts) then I lose control of the nausea and get pretty sick. So that is a cycle I am soon hoping will pass. I never got sick with Noah (until later in the pregnancy when indigestion became my enemy!) so this is a new thing.

The other thing that is much different about this pregnancy is that I am already starting to show! WOW, you really pop out earlier with Baby #2 than with Baby #1. I guess it is because your body already knows what to do?! It is wild to me. And I think it is another boy... I just KNEW Noah was going to be a boy; no doubt in my mind. That is how I am feeling about this one too. We shall see!

This Week in Photos

Til Eternity, My Friend

Many of you know what an intertwined relationship my family has with the Patterson family. From the moments Kelly and I first drew breath on this earth, we have been a part of that family and they of ours.

My dad and Dr. Doug Patterson have been best friends since grade school in Mobile, Alabama. They went to University of Montevallo together; they did ROTC together; they were fraternity brothers; they went to Vietnam together after they commissioned as active duty Marine Corps officers together.

When my dad went to be president of the Alabama Institute for Deaf and Blind, Dr. Patterson was his vice president. We grew up with their children - Lauren (their middle daughter) is my sister's lifelong best friend. They are like our siblings.

When we moved to Troy, AL in 1989, the Pattersons came too: he became vice chancellor while my dad was chancellor at the University. My parents were at the hospital when their oldest, Chris, and then Lauren and Natalie were born, and vice versa. There hasn't been a moment of my life that the Patterson family hasn't had an incredible presence, and I love them as if we shared the same blood. We lived within miles of each other. We played together. We vacationed together. We love each other.

About a month ago, Chris (who is several years older than I am) went on a cruise. While on vacation, he got sick. He tried to be seen by the doctor upon his return but the doctor kept encouraging him to treat the fever at home. The fever broke and he began feeling better, but only temporarily. He relapsed and was admitted immediately and placed into ICU.

For 3 weeks, Chris was on a ventilator, under heavy sedation and prayed for. His family rallied around his bedside and became prayer warriors for Chris. Natalie was able to come home from Florida State University, where she's a 2nd year law student and Lauren was able to make it home just less than a week ago from Ecuador where she's a professor.

We thought we had lost him last Sunday when his blood oxygen level dipped into the 30th percentile. But Chris came back and regained a 100% blood oxygen level the next day. They thought he might be coming out of the woods. We truly believed a miracle was taking place in his healing journey.

During his stay in ICU, he developed double pneumonia and ARDS. He also had 1/5 documented cases of Swine Flu (H1N1) that caused blood clots. The doctors had a terrible time trying to balance thinning his blood with treating the pneumonia.

My parents decided to come on out to Louisiana for Thanksgiving after going to Columbus, GA to see Chris and realizing he might be on the upswing. So we enjoyed a wonderful holiday but continued to cover Chris in prayer as a family from afar.

On Friday, 27 November, my family took me out for a delayed birthday celebration. When we returned to my and Dan's home, we got the call that Chris's blood oxygen level was below 10% and dropping. Within 10 minutes, Chris passed away leaving his family and so many people who loved him deeply with broken, shattered, shocked hearts. Yesterday (Saturday), we woke up and packed the cars and left for home as soon as possible.

Christopher Clarke Patterson was one of a kind. He was so much like his mom, Mrs. Lise: blonde, tall, handsome, quiet, funny. He was a man of few words but when he spoke, you listened and usually laughed. My first crush was on Chris when I was about 7 years old!

There are no words to explain the depth of pain that his precious family is experiencing right now. Everyone prayed SO HARD for Chris and we were confident he had pulled through. But we have to remember that God's ways are always higher than our ways. Yet that never makes the pain of losing a loved one more bearable. Never.

Tomorrow is Chris's visitation and Tuesday will be his funeral and burial. His funeral will be in Troy but they will bury Chris in Birmingham next to his grandfather who he adored and resembled so very much. We will bury a son, a brother, a friend, a great, great, great man who is gone long before we all thought it was time. This is so unnatural: parents are never supposed to bury their children.

Our world - for those of us who knew and loved Chris - is very sad right now. There is a pain surrounding all of us that will not soon depart. Even if you didn't know Chris Patterson, I ask you all to please pray for his mom and dad and sisters, Lauren and Natalie. It is their hearts that are truly breaking now and will break for days, months and years to come.

Thanksgiving 2009

We have had a fabulous time with my family here in Louisiana visiting us. We have cooked, eaten, laughed, played, slept - and enjoyed every single minute of it. Noah's been in HEAVEN with Jan-Jan, Keddy and Graddy all here! He's got a new playmate at every turn and has had a blast being the center of attention.

We got a new Persian kitten for my 30th birthday last week. Her name is Gumbo (Dan named her) and Dan bought her for me - he completely surprised me. 2 weeks ago, we went and looked at the litter and I picked out the kitten I wanted. I went and bought everything necessary to bring her home. She was to be my bday present from Dan. However, the next day, the lady called me and told me that she'd been accidentally sold by her husband who didn't know she'd been promised to me... I was sooo sad! I have had the hardest time getting over Maria so this was a blow.

That happened on Monday but Friday morning (my birthday), Dan woke up, showered and put his uniform on like any normal day. About an hour later, he came into the house with the same kitty I had been told had been sold! Whoo hoo! I was so surprised. Good Danny :) And Piper and Noah love this little gal. Dan was the person to have bought her so the lady didn't TOTALLY tell a lie.

This weekend, we are loading up the Hawkins/Beall clan and heading down to Lafayette, Louisiana for the Troy/ULL game. It is the final game of the regular season and we are excited to go cheer on the Trojans. It will be so much fun staying at a hotel with my family - we always have a blast at away Troy games. And we are getting ready for the New Orleans Bowl in December!

Tonight, we are all going out to celebrate my 30th bday as a family. It is a week past my day but my dad's taking us all out to dinner to have the "official" family party! I can't wait.

Small Announcement

We thought you would all want to know that our brood is expanding! We are very, very excited about this news.

November Cuteness

I just love my little Noah. He's not so little anymore... 21 months and 32 pounds. But he just adores his Mama and his Daddy. And I have never felt more blessed. He thinks it is hilarious to climb onto the dining table and "eat" the fake fruit and cinnamon pinecones on display next to the Waterford candleabras I also have on the table....

Noah experienced his first Louisiana State Fair. It was quite the experience... Never seen more rednecks and interesting people in all our lives but we had a great time. We shared some fudge soaked funnel cakes, a huge family-size ice cream cone and a couple of "Noah" rides. He had a lot of fun. (You might notice some red spots on his nose... that is because he insisted on running as fast as possible down our neighbor's driveway and busted his nose up from here to next Halloween.)

This month, he's enjoyed celebrating his Daddy's 30th birthday and will also enjoy opening gifts on my 30th birthday (Friday, November 20th). Any present wrapped seems to turn into a present for Noah! Dan got the most amazing home surround sound system possible and Noah had so much fun setting it up with his Daddy. On Dan's birthday morning, we had huge, hot cinnamon rolls, cheesy eggs and fresh fruit. Noah (surprise, surprise) thought it was in celebration of him! Dan recieved tons of sweet cards from friends and family and awesome gifts like (size 14... impossible to find!) Quiksilver flip-flops.

He also loves to swing in our backyard. The swingset we have is dilapidated but "Santa Jan-Jan and Graddy" are bringing him a NEW swingset this year. He's never gonna be as excited as I am about this!

We are getting ready for the holidays around here: he frequently sings his versions of Christmas songs and likes to rearrange the ornaments on "Jan-Jan's tree" (we have the tree in the guest room and in Noah's room already up since Jan-Jan, Graddy and Aunt Keddy come this weekend.) He LOVES school. Each Tuesday and Thursday morning, Noah wakes up talking about "Tarlie, Tarlie" (Charlee, Charlee - his 1 year old school-girlfriend) and "Ubbbbaaa - Ubbbbbaaa" (his teacher has taught him "Hubba-hubba"). Below is one of the styling outfits he wore to his school to impress the ladies!

My February 20th

I have been a Christian for the majority of the life that I can remember. I remember being in my bed in Talladega, Alabama with my mom and my sister and accepting Jesus into my heart. However, I couldn't have been more than 5 years old.

I remember the glow of the hallway light reflecting off of the beautiful face of my Mama and the way my sister and I were laying in my white bed and the yellow flowered wallpaper covering the walls of the dark room. I can still hear the tape "Good Night, Sleep Tight" playing softly on the cassette player in the bathroom between my and Kelly's rooms.

Fast forward to February 13, 1993. I was a stupid 13 year old suffering acne, being too skinny and too tall and too big footed for my age (I wore a size 10 shoe, was 5'7.5" tall and weighed a whopping 100 lbs). I was suffering through my first crushes, my first heartaches caused by mean "best" friends and many other ailments that a 13 year old suffers.

But at the Sunday church service at Disciple Now 1992, I made my way down the aisle at the First Baptist Church of Troy (before all of the gorgeous renovations - green carpet, bad fake flowers, and all). And in front of my mom, dad and Kelly and along with several of my close girl friends, I professed publicly that Jesus was indeed the Lord of my life.

You all know that I do a lot of my time with the Lord these days while I am out on my morning jogs. I tune into my iPod and listen to my favorites praise God: NeedtoBreathe, Fernando Ortega, Amy Grant, Third Day, Mercy Me. But today was spent listening to one of my all time favorites, Steven Curtis Chapman. Many of you know that in May of 2008, his son accidentally ran over one of his precious adopted daughters. Her name was Maria and she was 5 when she died. He just released his new album "Beauty Will Rise" this past month. To try to explain the depths of grief he dives into is futile; you can only know how painful that album (and his journey has been) is if you listen to it.

One of his songs is entitled "February 20th." He wrote it in honor of the day that his sweet daughter, Maria, accepted Jesus into her heart. Here are several lines of the lyrics:

"February 20th 2008
on the floor with her mom putting her shoes on
getting ready for another day
February 20th she says mom is it true
does God really have a big big house
and does it really have a lot of rooms.
and she said i really really want to go there
and i said so why don't we just talk to him.
and that's what we did February 20th

February 20th i did my best to explain.
how it is that we all want to be with god
how it was the savior came.
February 20th
if its true what he said that god himself sang along with the beautiful song of rejoicing in heaven
and she prayed Jesus come and please live in my heart.and someday can i come live with you
and we could never had imagined that'd she'd be going there so soon..."

My heart cried out as I listened to that song. When I publicly professed to my little world in 1993 that Jesus was my Lord, I did so exactly 15 years and 1 day to the day that I brought Noah into this world. I had no idea the responsibility that I would be taking on in a decade and a half from that day.

Now I have a beautiful almost-2-year-old who, at the end of every day, asks to say his "paaayers" with me and his daddy. Noah finishes our prayers as a family at night with a great big "AMMMMEENNNN." He says many times a day "I yuv you, Jeee-sus." My eyes fill with tears everytime I hear him say that.

While he doesn't yet understand the gravity of what he's saying when he tells Jesus he loves him, he will one day. And that is a responsibility that Dan and I do NOT take lightly. We know that it is our duty to teach him about who Jesus is and why, how, when He died. I long for the day that I can be present when my little one accepts MY Lord into his innocent little heart. I cannot wait to be witness to Noah's "February 20th."

Great Success!

Noah's a mess and loves to talk about his private parts and his urine and the act of urinating. He loves "Elmo's Potty Time" and talks about "tee-tee potty" all day long, but since he's a boy (first of all) and since he's only 20 months old, I haven't had it a priority to start seriously potty training him. Sure, we have the step up potty seat that goes over the big potty but short of letting him sit there and play, we haven't pressed the issue. Why press it and scare him off the idea, I say?!

But just last night, my 20 month old (which seems young to me...) ran to the potty sans diaper and said "tee tee, mommy?" So I pulled out the step up potty and let him sit there.... He tee-teed!!! I couldn't believe it! I tried not to overreact so I didn't startle him but I was excited.

Then today, we all 3 were out doing yardwork and got super dirty. So, I put Noah in the shower with me (he LOVES that). After the shower, he was doing his normal running-around-naked routine and in the middle of jumping on a pile of pillows, ran into the bathroom where I was putting on make up to say "potty mommy." I put him up on the potty and he started GRUNTING! He pooped!!! I am such a proud mommy I can't stand it.

He's such a baby to me in so many ways but he's growing up so fast. The kid can count straight to 15 for crying out loud. And he makes me and Dan question ourselves when we are driving because he sees things we would NEVER notice normally. He sees horses on billboards, busses a mile away, kitty cats on the side of the road... Noah's line of sight amazes me constantly.

I am overwhelmed by the blessing of that little boy. When I was told that my child would be the love of my life, I never, ever, never imagined the immense, incredible love that Noah would inflict in my heart. He's so smart, so beautiful, so sweet. He is even incredibly sensitive: when I pick him up from Mother's Day Out, there is an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair who's absolute joy in life is to sit by the door of the church and watch the kids coming and going. Noah makes a point to run up to him - and anyone, kid or adult, in a wheelchair - and hug them and say "Hi-iiii." He wants to make everyone feel special and his unpredjudicial attitude towards all moves me so much.

I am a proud, proud mom.

From the Mouth of MY Babe

My sweet little boy has always been a talker. He's been babbling since he was about 6-7 months old. He is just like my grandfather he was named after: a preacher man from Ireland! Noah's got the "gift of gab," there is no doubt.

He is only 20 months old and can count to FIFTEEN! I am not kidding you: he has been counting for about a month and sometimes goes from 1-5 and then 7,9,10, but in the past week, he's learned to go all the way to 15. I am not exaggerating that - I will videotape it and let you guys see what a genius this kid is.

Here are some other wild words that are in his regular vocabulary:
- Helicopter (comes out hel, lel, lel...opter but you get the drift!)
- I hear airplane: I eah ahhh-paanne
- I yuv u, Mommy - melts my heart
- Jan-Jan, Graddy, Poppy, Grammy, Keddy, Papu: his grandparents, Aunt Kelly and his dog, Piper
- He loves to yell at horsies and airplanes flying overhead: "Come heuh now!"
- Shoes, juice, food, car, truck, BUS!, book, puppy, kitty-cat... he says so many words - I could go on and on.
- Tyrone, Melmo: he loves these two t.v. characters
- Nemo: comes out "Meemo" but we got him a Beta fish this week and he named it "Nemo"

He's been naming body parts for a while, mostly his privates! He's fascinated with his "tee-tee," "boobies," and "bum-bum." His new favorite game is to sneak up on me or Dan when we are changing and hit our "bum bums." A flattering picture but, hey, I am honest! He LOVES to do that.

And just today while at the Base Exchange and while we were waiting in line right in front of about 7 pilots, Noah reaches up from the cart, grabs my chest and YELLS "Mommy's boobies!" I WAS HORRIFIED. I whispered quickly in his ear that that was Mommy's private part and he should be quiet but the damage was done and my face turned scarlet. The pilots got a huge kick out of it!

This afternoon, he was being especially trying. He grabbed my water bottle, unscrewed it and ran into the middle of the living room where he dumped out the whole thing. The entire time I was yelling for him to stop but he defied me. So, I got up, spanked him and put him immediately into his crib for a "time out."

Right away, he threw his toys and blankets over the side of the crib and screamed bloody murder. After a few minutes when he'd calmed down a bit, I went back in and got into his face and asked him if he understood why he was in time out. He said "Mommy, Watee (water), Soddy (sorry)." So, I said "When Mommy says no, you are supposed to obey me." He responded with "Okay Mommmeeeee" and continued to sob. But we hugged, said we loved each other and he went and picked up his favorite toys, Tyrone and Elmo, and placed them back into his crib. Dr. Dobson would have been proud of me.

Ahh, my little talker: already embarrassing me!

Halloween 2009

We had a great day! Although the levee right next to our home has broken and homes are being evacuated in our subdivision, we were able to get out and trick or treat with our friends, let Noah run around in his Elmo costume and then put him down so we could join our neighbors for our Halloween Block Party. It was a wonderful day!

So far, our home hasn't gotten any damage from the 20+" of rain (a first ever record here for October), our neighbors' home flooded badly. But they are safe and are slowly repairing the house. The waters will not crest for a few more days so we are continuing to pray that the levee holds and that this water is dried up by the now-gorgeous weather. We shall see! I guess this is just a side-effect of living in Louisiana next to a levee! The pastures next to the house where Noah likes to go see the horsies are now lakes - they are under about 3-5 feet of water. It is very sad.

We aren't being mandatorily evacuated yet and hope not to be. But our bags are packed just in case. Who knows where we will go... never been in this type of sitatution. The homes 2-3 blocks from ours though have been evacuated so it is definitely a likelihood we too will have to get out of here.

Noah loves "Melmo" and had a fun time being him for Halloween. He was so cute! And I was Dan's nurse because he dressed up as (I know, this is so politically incorrect..) Swine Flu. We won for best couple's costume! It was a great night!

Tonight we are taking Noah to the Louisiana State Fair. It is cold and with a full moon should be such a perfect fall night. We can't wait!

Die Myself

Won't you take this cup from me?
because fear has stolen all my sleep.
If tomorrow means my death
pray you'll save their souls with it.
Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.
Father let my heart be after you.
In this hour of doubt I see
who I am is not just me
so give me strength to die myself
so love can live to tell the tale.
~ Garden by NeedtoBreathe (2009)

Wow. WOW. When I hear this NeedtoBreathe song, I get chills. I love to listen to it while I am out running. We have that awesome privilege of asking God - the Father of the Universe - to let our hearts be after Him. We can do it just like Jesus did in the Garden. He begged His Father to spare Him and when he realized that wasn't going to happen, he begged to "die himself" and to have His prayers and words be used to save each of us.

What does it mean to "die myself?" I remember hearing that verse over and over again when I was at a Disciple Now retreat in the mid-1990s and I remember kind of rolling my eyes (that's a confession on my part). "Yeah, yeah... Let me 'die to myself' like the New Testament said..." Blah, blah -- the thoughts of a rebellious 13-year-old-psuedo-Christian. But here I am, 3 weeks short of 30 and I really get it. I do. How awesome to DIE to myself?! For Christ. For nothing else but the Savior I chose to serve.

Mark 8:34-37 "Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

We are called to a much greater purpose. Much greater than staying in shape, eating the right foods, saying the right things, buying the right clothes. We are called to be like Him, to take up His Cross. But, why is that so hard? I find myself asking that question daily. I lose myself in trying to be what I think I should be, trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, daughter that I can be. However, all I am called to be is everything He has made me. That's it - that's all He wants of me! What an awesome task but it is sooo simple.

I pray that I can continue to listen to songs such as the NTBreathe song "Garden" and be inspired to pick up His Cross where he left it and let the voice I know I was given because of His death resonate across "the Nations."

Homecoming 2009

What a beautiful word: Homecoming. Every time I have gotten to participate in a Troy University Homecoming, I get all fuzzy-feeling inside. It is really like "coming home." This was my family's 21st homecoming at Troy. THAT IS WILD to me! We came to Troy in 1989. And what a different school it was then. The scoreboard now stands on the Charles Henderson Middle School football field! It was miniscule in that even smaller stadium. Now we are a D-1A school playing SEC and #1 ranked teams. I am so proud of how far academically and athletically my school has come in 2 decades. It is GREAT to be a Trojan!

We got the "okay" for Dan to travel from his doctor and his boss about an hour before we made the drive. That was so exciting to have him home with us. He was to be in training in Indiana right now in prep for Afghanistan so each moment I have with him I count as such a blessing. He's healing great, by the way. Still on crutches but back to work tomorrow!

We stayed at my parent's gorgeous home at the Waters in Montgomery. It is such a resort-experience for me and Dan each time we go home. It is right on the lake and is the most magical place.

On Saturday morning, we loaded up and drove South to Troy in time for the awesome Troy Homecoming parade. It is always one of the highlights of my year! Noah loved it. He was beside himself, he had such a great time. And of course, my parents loved showing him off all day!

At the game, we sat in the Chancellor's box and enjoyed seeing so many great friends. Dan kept his foot propped up so being in recovery was great for him: it meant he could actually watch the game instead of having to socialize!

Noah kept everyone entertained throughout the game. He (of course) went right to his sweeper that they keep in the box and began cleaning the place. He's obsessed with cleaning supplies still! At one point, he went up to the Alabama Speaker of the House, the Alabama Governor and an Alabama State Senator who were all involved in a deep discussion and began to sweep their shoes. I couldn't believe it! But they laughed and let him. I got a picture of him in action. It was so cute.

We took our dog Piper with us this time since Maria has passed away. We didn't want to leave her alone so she made the long trip. She did great in the car and had such a fun time with her cousin, Ruby (my sister's 100+ lb Rhodesian Ridgeback). They tore the yard up but had a great time nonetheless!

Enjoy the photos! And Happy Fall! We LOVE this cooler weather and changing leaves - it is our first fall in 3 years.

Update

This is short because I have a toddler who won't nap and isn't doing well sleeping his regular 12+ hour nights (he's being IMPOSSIBLE lately!), a college class now in session full of undergraduate students requiring my undivided attention this term, and a husband still unable to even get up and walk to the bathroom unattended. Life's a little challenging logistically here! BUT.... so many of you have been faithful in asking us about how Dan's surgery affects his deployment.

The news - current as of today - is that this deployment is postponed for Dan. We are incredibly happy about that but still holding our breath. NOTHING is certain in the military till you are either on or not on a flight! But since Dan is still so immobile and still in so much pain, his commander made the decision to hold off sending him just yet. That doesn't mean he is "in the clear" but for now, he's safely home in Louisiana recovering from a pretty serious bit of surgery. We are thankful.

Thank you to ALL of you who sent cards and birthday wishes a month in advance. I assure you that each of them are being placed into the scrapbook that will accompany him on his inevitable future (soon) deployment. Dan's number is up so we are just waiting to hear the "where" and "when" because he's long overdue to go overseas. But, at least it isn't Afghanistan with the Army at this point. I will take anything over that.

Thanks again, we love you all and your prayers are still needed. We are an active duty military family continuing to go through a lot at this point in our lives. Your prayers are always encouraged and of course, I will continue to keep you updated.

On another note, here are some beautiful pictures of our impossible 20 month old. He is loving this fall weather here in Louisiana!