My February 20th

I have been a Christian for the majority of the life that I can remember. I remember being in my bed in Talladega, Alabama with my mom and my sister and accepting Jesus into my heart. However, I couldn't have been more than 5 years old.

I remember the glow of the hallway light reflecting off of the beautiful face of my Mama and the way my sister and I were laying in my white bed and the yellow flowered wallpaper covering the walls of the dark room. I can still hear the tape "Good Night, Sleep Tight" playing softly on the cassette player in the bathroom between my and Kelly's rooms.

Fast forward to February 13, 1993. I was a stupid 13 year old suffering acne, being too skinny and too tall and too big footed for my age (I wore a size 10 shoe, was 5'7.5" tall and weighed a whopping 100 lbs). I was suffering through my first crushes, my first heartaches caused by mean "best" friends and many other ailments that a 13 year old suffers.

But at the Sunday church service at Disciple Now 1992, I made my way down the aisle at the First Baptist Church of Troy (before all of the gorgeous renovations - green carpet, bad fake flowers, and all). And in front of my mom, dad and Kelly and along with several of my close girl friends, I professed publicly that Jesus was indeed the Lord of my life.

You all know that I do a lot of my time with the Lord these days while I am out on my morning jogs. I tune into my iPod and listen to my favorites praise God: NeedtoBreathe, Fernando Ortega, Amy Grant, Third Day, Mercy Me. But today was spent listening to one of my all time favorites, Steven Curtis Chapman. Many of you know that in May of 2008, his son accidentally ran over one of his precious adopted daughters. Her name was Maria and she was 5 when she died. He just released his new album "Beauty Will Rise" this past month. To try to explain the depths of grief he dives into is futile; you can only know how painful that album (and his journey has been) is if you listen to it.

One of his songs is entitled "February 20th." He wrote it in honor of the day that his sweet daughter, Maria, accepted Jesus into her heart. Here are several lines of the lyrics:

"February 20th 2008
on the floor with her mom putting her shoes on
getting ready for another day
February 20th she says mom is it true
does God really have a big big house
and does it really have a lot of rooms.
and she said i really really want to go there
and i said so why don't we just talk to him.
and that's what we did February 20th

February 20th i did my best to explain.
how it is that we all want to be with god
how it was the savior came.
February 20th
if its true what he said that god himself sang along with the beautiful song of rejoicing in heaven
and she prayed Jesus come and please live in my heart.and someday can i come live with you
and we could never had imagined that'd she'd be going there so soon..."

My heart cried out as I listened to that song. When I publicly professed to my little world in 1993 that Jesus was my Lord, I did so exactly 15 years and 1 day to the day that I brought Noah into this world. I had no idea the responsibility that I would be taking on in a decade and a half from that day.

Now I have a beautiful almost-2-year-old who, at the end of every day, asks to say his "paaayers" with me and his daddy. Noah finishes our prayers as a family at night with a great big "AMMMMEENNNN." He says many times a day "I yuv you, Jeee-sus." My eyes fill with tears everytime I hear him say that.

While he doesn't yet understand the gravity of what he's saying when he tells Jesus he loves him, he will one day. And that is a responsibility that Dan and I do NOT take lightly. We know that it is our duty to teach him about who Jesus is and why, how, when He died. I long for the day that I can be present when my little one accepts MY Lord into his innocent little heart. I cannot wait to be witness to Noah's "February 20th."