Just Precious

I am terribly biased, but I do think that Noah is one precious human. We tell him daily that he's the most beautiful little person in the world.

Certainly, he's a challenging child - so was I (and still am if you ask my mom!) - so one can expect that Noah would be no different. But the joy that we get from being the parents of this fiery redhead is beyond compare.

Highs and Lows

I am overwhelmed to the core by how many people are praying for us. TO THE CORE. It is in times like these when you completely realize how truly loved and appreciated you are. Speaking as a military wife and former Air Force officer, I can say first hand that there are long stretches of time that you feel taken for granted. But the amounts of thank you's and prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf just has been astounding to me. And I am caught in complete waves of highs and lows.

It hasn't hit me yet how long this deployment will be taking the love of my life away from me. I know that it will and I know that the first months of him being gone will be the toughest. But we have lots to look forward to.... For example, we have actively begun trying for Baby Beall #2. Many of my closest girlfriends have questioned this decision but my sweet Dan has wanted another baby for over a year now. He desperately wants our kids closer together, much like Kelly and I are and he and his brother, Todd, are. But I kept putting it off and putting it off. Well, now is time to "bite the bullett" and have another one so that Dan is happy and so that Noah isn't an only child for wayyyy too long! So, I ask that you pray that if God is ready to bless us with Baby Beall #2 that it will happen as soon as possible.

My best friend on this planet (aside from Danny, my mom and my sis), Lydia (another Air Force intel officer and my sister soul mate) was realllly upset about this decision to try for another baby because she doesn't want me to be too stressed. She brought up so many good points. And yes, having a pregnancy and a toddler and then a new baby and a toddler while you are all alone isn't optimal.

But this new baby will be an extension of the man that I love so much who is so far away from us. Thus, if Danny wants another baby now and is willing to miss out on the pregnancy, birth and much of the child's first year, then how in the world can I deny him another child? I won't do that and I rejoice in our decision to start trying again before he leaves in a month.

Blessings and encouragement are coming from the "randomest" of places. On Facebook, my sweet friend from college, Barry, has started a prayer chain to all of his friends and family members. Well, low and behold, one of his friends happens to be a member of the Oakridge Boys and he personally emailed Barry a message to me and Dan. He sent us an invitation to one of their concerts to be guest of honor as soon as Dan returns from serving our country in Afghanistan!

My dear friend, Lindsey Beckenhauer (her blog is "Our Sweet Joy" in my blogroll) emailed me the sweetest message from one military wife to another. And her words were perfect - exactly what I needed at that moment. She told me that she's reading a book about joy and the discipline of mourning and she almost gave me the "permission" (no, she didn't literally give me permission, but she reinforced the emotions to mourn that have been bubbling up at the surface) to mourn. Here is the quote and the verse from the book she's reading that she sent me: "This time will come when all of us will be done mourning --- but that time is not now; that time doesn't exist on this earth. We need to mourn. Mourning invites us to a deeper life. It takes us beyond the surface to give us a glimpse of the world as God sees it." "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Mat 5:4. How perfect for me to read first thing yesterday morning! (Thanks, Linds)

And the prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf by soo many who love us near and far - I have shed so many tears because they are lifting up the emotions I am struggling with the most. My sweet, precious friend Boothe Blanton Farley - who most of you are familiar with from her journey with her baby girl, Copeland, has sent messages to her hundreds of prayer warriors to be lifting up Dan as he goes to fight the War on Terror. Talk about powerful: Boothe's prayer army is massive and I am honored to know she has sent them to "battle" in prayer for my husband's safety.

Thank you all. All of you. Thank you. I am honored to log on every day and see that we have so many people who are lifting us up. You have no idea what your comments, emails and phone calls mean to this military wife.

Heavy Heart...

Thank you all for your prayers. We were holding out a slight glimmer of hope that this deployment would pass us by until we found out for sure today. However, once Dan sat down with his commander and talked to some of his intel community buddies, he realized that this was a deployment that was meant for him to accept (not like he ultimately had a choice, though). So, we embark on a 15+ month journey of being apart.

We were waiting to hear from his buddy at the intelligence assignment center and his opinion was going to be the final opinion to consider before Dan stopped chasing down other options. When he heard that this deployment was far and away better than "98%" of all other intelligence deployments, we were both sold that this was the path Dan's career was to take.

He's up for Major board this year and we think that this is the best step for him to take career wise. It will be so challenging for our family and I continue to ask for prayer in this next year and a half. But I feel an eerie peace all around me and I am grateful for that.

Dan will be a solid addition to the Army team he will be joining up with and I am thankful he's my husband. I feel that our country is better because of men and women like him that are willing to give life and limb in service of our great nation. Dan will leave in a few short weeks to begin his combat training in preparation for this deployment. That is a hard sentence to type: combat training......

Continue to lift up my husband, Noah's daddy, Todd's brother, Kelly and Annie's brother-in-law, and Carol and Brad Beall's (as well as Jack and Janice Hawkins's) son in your daily prayers. He's an adored man and I want him back with us all safe and sound.

But my heart is also with this nation's mission in the Middle East and I find mySelf being as selfless as I can possibly be in this situation. I want peace - ultimate peace - that we find in Christ Jesus shared worldwide and who better than to go forth and help spread the Good News as he spreads Democracy than Dan? I can think of no one better.

Thanks again to you incredible Prayer Warriors.

My Boys

Feeling Loved

You guys do love us. You do! And what an overwhelming feeling that is for this wife and mother. I have had countless phone calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages - all letting me know that we are loved and that our family's being covered in prayer.

I think I started to have a bit of a pity-party for myself late last night. My boys were asleep and I was restless. So while I stayed up working on my syllabus (due Monday!), I checked some emails and started to get down. I figured, "If others are heartbroken for us, then maybe I should feel more heartbroken too..." Uh-uh, Sista Friend! God has put this in our path for a dang good reason and I am not about to let Satan come in and take advantage of me in my weakness.

Speaking of Satan... he's been trying to have a hay-day with this family. Everything in this moving process has been challenging - EVERYTHING. From having many items broken in the move to the fact that it took over a month to finally close on our new house, something has gone wrong. Praise God that our families are safe and thriving, but logistically, Satan wanted to make us as uncomfortable as possible. I have decided to take command of my attitude and I refuse to allow him to keep that foothold he's been working so hard to keep.

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence..." -- Psalm 16:11 NIV

Dan continues to share more information he's learning about the job that he's going to do. It is considered Provincial Reconstruction. You guys can figure out what that means. There has been a LOT of damage done in war-torn Afghanistan and the Americans remain there to establish relations and set up a working Democracy. We don't know which region Dan's going to go to yet but he will be a BLESSING wherever his boots land in the sand of that country.

I am taking control of my words, my thoughts, my prayers and I ask you all to please support me in that. Our attitudes are so often determined by another's attitude so if you see me faltering or feeling sad or having a pity party, lift me up. No more broken hearts! This is the hand we have been dealt and I choose to rejoice for what lies ahead.

My service in the Air Force prepared me to be a supportive and understanding military spouse so I knew this was always possible when I became Dan's wife and got out of the Air Force. I was okay with it then, and I am okay with it now. Please continue to lift us up. You guys are awesome.

Deployment

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”-- Joshua 1:9

Many of you found out this morning (and some last night by phone calls from either me or Dan or us both) that Dan will be deploying to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom with the Army (mind you, he's an Air Force intelligence officer....) for a total of 15 months. Yes, we just got to Barksdale and yes, it doesn't make sense that he's going in support of the Army troops on the ground. But, this seems to be the hand we have been dealt so we are choosing to trust God's plan for our life and take it in stride.

Normal Air Force deployments are no more than 6 months. Anything longer is considered a short or long tour. Unfortunately, this won't even count as Dan's long tour so we are really upset about that. That will mean he will still have to do a 1 year remote (i.e. Qatar or Korea or Iraq or Afghanistan again) tour of duty again soon. And this particular one isn't a cushy deployment, this is Dan going into the actual war zone in Afghanistan - something we never thought possible. Ever.

Dan says if he wanted to fight the war on the ground, he would have commissioned into the Army or Marines... not the Air Force. And we understand that military families all around the world are going through this very same thing, but that by no means makes it any easier. Why's he going in support of the Army? Well, because the Army has tapped all of its resources in this ongoing war. The Army's looking to the other branches for resources and personnel support. Dan's going to a place that we have been in actual war status against for 8 years now. His primary job will be to continue to establish relations and Democracy within the Afghan population.

We obviously are having to reconsider when we will start trying for baby #2 since at this point, Dan won't even return back home till after Noah's 3rd birthday (in February 2011). So that throws another wrench into this deal - if we do conceive baby #2 anytime soon, Dan will miss the entire pregnancy and the first 9 months of our child's life.

I have gotten a lot of phone calls of support and I thank those who have reached out. Please understand that I am not in a "chatty" mood just yet and don't want to talk about it right now. We are going through various stages of coping and grief and are spending as much time as possible together before he leaves, which he will leave for training very soon.

I am doing all that I can to be supportive and be strong where my husband is weak. He's so sad to think of leaving us - especially Noah - for so long. I cannot imagine the amount of pain he feels when he has to think of being separated from our boy and his best buddy like that. I ask for prayer because I don't know if I have energy in me to be as strong as I need to be. My defenses are already weakened from the amount of stress and change we have experienced in the past months of moving and changing our entire lives. But I am called to be a strong and steady fixture in my husband's weakness so I am determined to find that strength within me - for my husband, my boy and our parents who are beside themselves right now.

To ask any of you to fully understand what we are going through emotionally is futile so I ask meekly that you please pray for us right now. Pray that if this isn't what God has for our family that He will PLEASE take this from us. We are on our knees here and I ask you - our extended network of friends and family - to please join us.

** I uploaded a few of the photos I actually have of my handsome hubby in his uniform. The one of him by himself was taken when we were stationed in South Carolina about 4 years ago. He's now a Captain so his rank on his uniform has changed. **

VIDEOS

Here is our beautiful boy at just 18 months naming his body parts! This is obviously filmed in our very new home in Louisiana - so please excuse the disarray in the background. We are certainly proud of our little man and how much he talks!


Here's our little dancer :)


Watching this one makes us three ache for our island of Oahu. Our friends, our house, the weather, our church... that was our home. And our boy loved the beaches of Hawaii.

Movin' In

We have moved into our beautiful home! These photos are from last week when we had boxes EVERYWHERE. But since then, my hubby has come home from New Mexico and my mom has done so much work that it actually looks like we have been living here for a while. Well... at least in the living room and kitchen. We are still waiting to have Noah's room and the guestroom painted and I still haven't gotten to the boxes in our bedroom and walk in closests in the bathroom (yes, that's plural! Heaven!) but those are on my list.

Also on my list is to get Noah enrolled in a good mother's day out program that he can start in September. I have so much to do to get ready for teaching for Troy University. I submit my syllabus a week from today and have to do all the necessary training required of professors. So I need some "me" time now that he's 18 months old and much more difficult to keep up with.

I have to run right now but I promise that I have lots and lots to write about so I will return soon. Here are some fun photos from our first week in our new and gorgeous home!

Cute Photos from Bama

Noah dancing at Lindsay and Lance's wedding in Troy
The beautiful newlywed couple. I have known Lindsay since we were kids.
Proud Janny and Grandaddy
Me, my Dad and Noah on campus at Troy University
Doing the "Sugar Plum" with Kelly!
I love this baby boy

2 of Noah's girlfriends: Lucy and Ella Cate

Being silly in my parent's living room!

Having lunch with Brittney, her sis Alithia and all of our kiddos at Red Robin

Noah is getting left out of this secret, I think!

Vacuuming with Janny

Noah developed a fascination with cleaning supplies early on in his life. That fascination continues! Anytime there is a vacuum or broom around, Noah will have it in his hands and will entertain himself for hours.

This is a cute video that I took the other day. He was "helping" his Janny vacuum the mud room and kitchen in her home in Montgomery. It went on for almost an hour - he went behind her every move and did exactly what she had been doing. He loves his Janny!

"I love you forever..."

Our boy loves to be read to. He loves books of any kind.... He will go pick up a book and say "boook" at just 17 months. He's a fan of reading and for that, I am thrilled. Just the other night, I picked up one of the dozens of books my mom and dad have for him in his incredible nursery to read to him for his bedtime story.

The book I chose was "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. Of course, it is a popular book but it is a touching book nonetheless. I BAWLED while reading it to him just a few nights ago.

I know I have mentioned that Noah hasn't felt well but despite his feeling bad, he's become super bonded to my mom and dad. His "Janny and Grandaddy" are who he runs to when he's feeling insecure or scared and that is so awesome to me.

Tonight, Janny came home from work and we came home from Troy (to my folks' new home in Montgomery) and she wanted some time with her boy. She picked up this book to read to him while I was in his sweet nursery at their house changing his sheets (he woke up with poop in his HAIR! It was everywhere!!)So while I changed sheets, Noah was being read to by my mommy. I heard her singing the "I'll love you forever, I love you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" to my boy. She choked up half way through like I thought she would and of course, so did I. I know that she was thinking of her mommy who passed away at age 102 in 2003 and we miss her everyday.

There is NOTHING like hearing your "mommy" read to her grandson (YOUR baby) and know she used to read to you just the same way. Nothing. My mom loves me so much and for that, I am overwhelmed. She was and is the best Mom ever and I am so thankful she is mine. And lucky Noah: he has the BEST Janny ever. God is so good.

First Weeks in Louisiana

We have thoroughly enjoyed the Shreveport area thus far. I am uploading our photos from our first weeks there for you to see. We took Noah to the "Gators and Friends" exotic petting zoo. There are SO many alligators in the Bayou and there is a bayou right behind our house! Signs are posted all over our neighborhood warning people to not let their pets roam around... it lures the gators out of their 'areas'! Crazy. We are thrilled to live in a place so full of rich, Creole history. And it is the South too so you know that makes me happy!

Noah and I are anxious to get back to Danny on Thursday and close on our home on Friday. The family we are buying the home from is awesome - Tessa has been emailing me constantly to tell me sweet things such as how she's leaving all the power, water and gas on till next week so we can get settled. I am so thankful we are buying a home from a good family that cares about the house and about who is moving into the home. I hope a real friendship can continue to grow out of this experience.

Noah got his first ear infection diagnosed last week and was put on a strong antibiotic. HOWEVER, that antibiotic gave him so much diarreah that I thought we were going to have to take him into the emergency room for dehydration. He's been a wreck - happy and fun, but just miserable from the raw burns on his "bum bum" and the nausea he's experienced. I took him off of the medicine on Saturday and that turned out to be the worst day: he had 11 diarreah diapers and was vomiting everwhere. Yesterday was a little bit better, but not much. He continued to be plagued with nausea and diarreah. I spoke with the nurse at the doctor's office we took him to last week before we were enrolled into the Barksdale AFB clinic and she got him started on probiotics to replenish his intestinal bacteria as well as Aquaphor diaper cream/healing ointment for the burns and open sores on his bottom. She also put him on Immodium A/D which helped a TON. He was able to keep food in him for the first time in days. I have been very thankful to be here in Alabama to have help from his grandparents - it has been a rough week with our Noah boy. He's been pitiful!

Saturday night we took him to my friend Lindsay's wedding in Troy. He stayed in the nursery during the ceremony then had a ball playing at the reception. There were several points during the night that he ran out onto the middle of the dance floor and began booty dancing (like Aunt Kelly has taught him to do!) and was absolutely the hit of the party. Almost everyone there I have known for most of my life - it was at the church I was raised in and then the reception was at the Troy University Ball Room. It was wonderful seeing everyone and have them meet Noah! I overheard some older gentlemen walking by Noah say "That is the cutest baby I have seen in my whole life!" Wow! I was flattered - he was being so cute too so that helped his case.

Enjoy the photos!