Highs and Lows

I am overwhelmed to the core by how many people are praying for us. TO THE CORE. It is in times like these when you completely realize how truly loved and appreciated you are. Speaking as a military wife and former Air Force officer, I can say first hand that there are long stretches of time that you feel taken for granted. But the amounts of thank you's and prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf just has been astounding to me. And I am caught in complete waves of highs and lows.

It hasn't hit me yet how long this deployment will be taking the love of my life away from me. I know that it will and I know that the first months of him being gone will be the toughest. But we have lots to look forward to.... For example, we have actively begun trying for Baby Beall #2. Many of my closest girlfriends have questioned this decision but my sweet Dan has wanted another baby for over a year now. He desperately wants our kids closer together, much like Kelly and I are and he and his brother, Todd, are. But I kept putting it off and putting it off. Well, now is time to "bite the bullett" and have another one so that Dan is happy and so that Noah isn't an only child for wayyyy too long! So, I ask that you pray that if God is ready to bless us with Baby Beall #2 that it will happen as soon as possible.

My best friend on this planet (aside from Danny, my mom and my sis), Lydia (another Air Force intel officer and my sister soul mate) was realllly upset about this decision to try for another baby because she doesn't want me to be too stressed. She brought up so many good points. And yes, having a pregnancy and a toddler and then a new baby and a toddler while you are all alone isn't optimal.

But this new baby will be an extension of the man that I love so much who is so far away from us. Thus, if Danny wants another baby now and is willing to miss out on the pregnancy, birth and much of the child's first year, then how in the world can I deny him another child? I won't do that and I rejoice in our decision to start trying again before he leaves in a month.

Blessings and encouragement are coming from the "randomest" of places. On Facebook, my sweet friend from college, Barry, has started a prayer chain to all of his friends and family members. Well, low and behold, one of his friends happens to be a member of the Oakridge Boys and he personally emailed Barry a message to me and Dan. He sent us an invitation to one of their concerts to be guest of honor as soon as Dan returns from serving our country in Afghanistan!

My dear friend, Lindsey Beckenhauer (her blog is "Our Sweet Joy" in my blogroll) emailed me the sweetest message from one military wife to another. And her words were perfect - exactly what I needed at that moment. She told me that she's reading a book about joy and the discipline of mourning and she almost gave me the "permission" (no, she didn't literally give me permission, but she reinforced the emotions to mourn that have been bubbling up at the surface) to mourn. Here is the quote and the verse from the book she's reading that she sent me: "This time will come when all of us will be done mourning --- but that time is not now; that time doesn't exist on this earth. We need to mourn. Mourning invites us to a deeper life. It takes us beyond the surface to give us a glimpse of the world as God sees it." "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Mat 5:4. How perfect for me to read first thing yesterday morning! (Thanks, Linds)

And the prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf by soo many who love us near and far - I have shed so many tears because they are lifting up the emotions I am struggling with the most. My sweet, precious friend Boothe Blanton Farley - who most of you are familiar with from her journey with her baby girl, Copeland, has sent messages to her hundreds of prayer warriors to be lifting up Dan as he goes to fight the War on Terror. Talk about powerful: Boothe's prayer army is massive and I am honored to know she has sent them to "battle" in prayer for my husband's safety.

Thank you all. All of you. Thank you. I am honored to log on every day and see that we have so many people who are lifting us up. You have no idea what your comments, emails and phone calls mean to this military wife.