What about the love?

"...I went to see my brother
On the 32nd floor
Of a building down on Wall Street;
You could hear the future's roar.
He said, "Here we make decisions,
And we trade commodities;
If you tell me where there's famine,
I can make you guarantees." I said,
"Is this all there is, Power to the strong?"
Something's wrong.

Something's wrong in heaven tonight.
You can almost hear them cry.
Angels to the left and the right, Saying,
"What about the love? What about the love? What about the love?"

Years ago, our family friend, Amy Grant Gill, wrote a song called "What about the love?" In light of yesterday's election, I have to ask the same question...

WHAT ABOUT THE LOVE?

My friend, Nicole and her family, are of the Mormon faith; like Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. She might be one of the most fun and sweet people I know. However, she suffered much criticism regarding her faith yesterday OVER FACEBOOK. "Thanks, Romney's god?" "His god sure showed them." How could that possibly do anything to serve and uplift others when one is disappointed by the election results?! That demonstrates pure hatred, not love.

Then we have the race issue.... people calling for another OJ riot situation if their man doesn't win. Or the Black Panthers showing up to initimidate people at the polls. How does that serve to unite our broken country? The ONLY thing that will unite us is Jesus and all of us showing each other the love of Christ.

The first thing we MUST do is pray for our president. Pray that if he doesn't know Jesus, that his heart is changed 100%. And that if he isn't making Christ based decisions, that God touch him and win his heart and mind.

My family is serving (in as much of a selfless manner as is possible) in a foreign country that was once our enemy (Pearl Harbor 1941). There are days that we long to be back home, that we wish that service before self wasn't a requirement. But, if people like Dan don't do it, who will? We deserve no thanks or glory - we are just choosing to serve Christ in a way that is challenging and sacrificial for us. Others do much more extreme things - like serving in forsaken places far and wide. Where there is no drinking water, etc.

Let's remember in this time of challenge and not much transition that we are ALL God's babies and that we must treat each other as such: Muslim, LDS, Christian, Buddhists, no matter what - let's show the love that was shown us thousands of years ago when Christ died for ALL of us.... no matter the color or religion. No human or candidate is an "awful human being." We are all the beloved of the Most High God.

 

Perfect weekend

My sister may have been the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Ever. The weather was perfect, the bride exquisite, the tone of the day calm, the center of the day Christ centered. One couldn't have asked for more.

Adam and Kelly are so in love and so perfect for each other. Standing next to them as matron of honor, I witnessed a true joining of two believers hearts. I'm confident my sister will be protected, loved and honored for the rest of her life.

Okay. Fine.

Okay, fine. I submit. I have failed as a blogger. But I do have reasons... all of my readers know them already. I will admit, I do have ADHD. Take meds for it, but still life and blogging passes me by, each and every day.

So there. Forgive me! We are in the throws of moving. In the past 2 months, we have been told that our family was not qualified to move to Misawa Air Base, Japan because of some sort of medical hinderance. Little did we know that it wasn't Noah's asthma: it was because of the pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung) I had post Ellyotte's c-section.

Misawa's medical group commander needed reassurance that Dan and I weren't planning on having any more biological babies. While bittersweet to accept, we gladly did so in the face of Dan doing 2+ years away from his wife and children (we were facing that and I was a mess for a good 2 weeks till we found out otherwise!). Dan told the commander that we have a method in place to prevent future pregnancies and that I - of all people (after my hematologist care, etc for one whole year and the botched c-section that caused me to not be able to carry any more children...) - understand the risk of having more biological children. And IF I were to become pregnant, Dan would have me on the first flight out: Misawa doesn't have a high risk specialist. And it seems to be the hobby to have babies in Northern Japan. I guess the 9 months of winter gets to some folks!

So... no more babies for us. It is a hard pill to swallow because we want more perfect Noahs and Ellys but my body cannot handle any more pregnancies. There would be babies without a Mom. We have decided that we want to expand our family 100% by adopting. We haven't started the process, but we have acknowledged it. That's the first step.

Dan promotes to Major this next week - exactly 10 years and several "officers of the year" later. He will promote and then the next day, we will final out from Barksdale AFB, Louisiana and head to Alabama. After 2 days there, we will catch a flight to DC to visit the Bealls and our extended family/friends for a week. Then back to Bama/the condo in Panama City Beach, FL till Dan heads to Northern Japan the 3rd week of June. He will go over with our sweet cat Gumbo (Piper, our beloved dog, has a new home where she is LOVED so much!) and he will get us set up in our new home, with new cars, new everything.

Our home here in LA hasn't sold yet. Boo. But we have everything out of it and have sold our washer/dryer as well as lots of furniture and Dan's Camry. We will leave my beloved 4 Runner in Alabama for the 3 years we are in Asia. Dan will have to get us two new cars once over in Japan: they drive on the other side of the car, other side of the road and have totally different emissions standards.

We are living in the hotel (TLF) on base in LA right now and having fun. Noah has walking pneumonia on top of some severe asthma issues and Ellyotte has yet another ear infection. But, we are loving our adventures as a family of four. Those will end mid June when our Daddy heads to Japan without us.

Dan will come back mid October for us... because he's a groomsmen in Kelly (my precious baby sister) and Adam's wedding that I am Matron/Maid of Honor in. We are so excited for their wedding. Adam is a perfect match for our crazy yet normal yet weird yet perfect Hawkins family. And the babies are both in their wedding. So Dan has to be back for it! And has to be back to get us to take back to Japan with him.

So, I will be in Alabama with my folks - moving back in....with two babies and my yet unwed sister!!!! - till the fall! If you wanna hook up and hang out, holla at me. Can't wait for this crazy summer!

My sweet little ones

"Go Go" time! That's what E calls popsicles!

One more visit from my folks before we moved outta our house

Breakfast in bed for Mother's Day!

Mudbug Madness festival in Louisiana

My friend Amy and me out for a crawfish dinner

Burning time and energy - with markers! - in lodging on base

Not looking forward to being away from him for 4-5 months......

Last day at our beloved pre-school in Louisiana. Noah's been there since he was 18 months old!

Best looking reason I've ever seen to buy a house ASAP

Excited about markers!

Family fun at Mudbug Madness

My sweet girl - and her busted head :(

Exploring the bayous of Barksdale AFB, LA - definite GATOR siting!

This is what a 4 year old redhead with walking pneumonia looks like: at the hospital getting some breathing treatments.

Moving out! Noah was screaming in my ear because he wanted ice cream... not cuz he was sad!

She said YES!

All her life, my mom and dad have been praying for Kelly's mate... And in December 2011, she met him, they fell in love, and this past Saturday, he asked for her hand in marriage! We were all there at the Waters (my folks house in Montgomery, AL): Adam proposed at the Chapel on the hill - where they will wed on 20 October - and Adam's family and mine waited anxiously for them to come home with an answer! We had about 20 people there for dinner to celebrate their new life together. Dan was able to hide in the chapel and record the proposal and get some sweet pictures. It was a TRULY precious time. Adam and I had worked HARD finding the perfect ring - and Kelly loves it. We are proud. And can't wait for their big day!

I'll Love You Forever

Dan is out of state on TDY so I am home alone with the kids. That's normal, and I enjoy my moments post-bed time routine/chaos. I love having the remote in my hand and the computer in my lap as I grade papers (with a glass - or two! - of white wine). It is so relaxing after a crazy day of parenting!!! Noah is a great napper, still - almost 4 years after his birth. He will turn 4 on 12 February and I. Can't. Believe. It. Wow, how time flies.

I have gotten nap time down to a science in this house! There is NO giving up Noah's naps till he goes off to Kindergarten. He and Ellyotte get up at 7:30ish each morning, eat breakfast and Elly and I take Noah to school at 9:00 Mondays-Fridays. Elly and I return home, she naps from 9:30-11:00, then she goes into the jogging stroller, we exercise, then back to pick up Noah at noon. Noah eats in the car on the way home, we play, they wear themselves out and then down for a nap at about 1:30is: Elly in her crib and Noah....... in our bed. I actually started that because it was vital to me when Ellyotte slept, Noah HAD to sleep so I could sleep!

Since she was born, Ellyotte has been a hard and serious, lone sleeper. I never had to rock her to sleep; we just lay her down with her kitty and paci and she's content. Noah, however, has always needed tending to. We had to rock him from day 1 because of colic, then out of habit. He started traveling between Hawaii and the East Coast at 2 months so he got used to being held: in the Bjorn, in the glider, being held period. And that's fine with me! It has required thousands of hours of attention in order to get Noah to sleep deeply - unlike his sister - but we haven't minded it.

Now, he goes to bed in his bed at night and at some point, ends up in our bed! We are convinced we will have to upgrade to a king size because soon Ellyotte is gonna realize that her "Bubba" is in mama's bed and she's not! Dan and I are okay with this - these babies are growing too quickly and we love the red headed bundle that ends up between us each night.

Tonight Noah had been asleep for about 2 hours when I heard him crying. This is unusual. So I go into his room and he holds his arms up - meaning he wants to be held. I gladly picked him up and for the first time in a long time, I was allowed to rock him. I cradled all 50+ pounds in my arms and with the lullaby CD softly playing in the background, I held my "baby" till he fell back to sleep.

As I rocked him, I looked down at that freckle covered, almost 4 year old nose and I was swept away in memory. Can it be that many years ago that we were worried about his eating and sleeping and pooping habits? We were so sleep deprived and clueless. Now, we are thriving parents to an active little man who loves Jesus and protects his sister. And as I rocked him, the sweet book I have read to him countless nights came to mind ("Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch):

"...The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be...."


Noah Everard Beall may be that crazy red headed kid in that book, but to me and to his daddy, he is that precious bundle of love we brought home that night almost four years ago.

One of the first of MANY naps together

Daddy loves this red head

Don't judge... I was almost 2 weeks late. - Honolulu, Hawaii

Finally home.

Precious 3 year old

almost 4 years later, a still beautiful sleeper

Noah and "soon to be" Uncle Adam

Uncle Bob, Noah and Graddy in Destin - New Years 2012

Us! Christmas 2012

Mama's Day

This is a special Mother's Day for me personally: it is the 3rd year that I am a mom to Noah, the 1st year that I am a mom to Ellyotte and the 1st year that I can celebrate being a mama to my precious babies that I am alive to raise. This past year has been so scary for me at times - healthwise - that I am truly, truly thankful to be present on this earth with my children and my husband this mother's day.

Here is a special video that my family really appreciates this year more than ever before. In November, we lost my precious Aunt Mamie (the redhead in the video next to Mrs. Gloria Grant) and just last week, we all lost another lifelong friend, Mrs. Gloria Grant (Amy Grant's mother) in Nashville. Mamie and Gloria and Jeananne (the gorgeous blonde in the video) were inseparable so these past five months have been tough as we said goodbye to two of the threesome.

About 10 years ago, Oprah did a Mother's Day show and invited Amy's mom, Mrs. Gloria, to be on it. Mrs. Glo took her best friends, Mamie (my aunt) and Mrs. Jeananne to the show with her. They are sitting to Mrs. Glo's left.

As you will see in the video, they didn't know that Oprah had Amy and her sisters surprise Mrs. Gloria. She was truly surprised and the whole group had an incredibly memorable time together during the taping and after as they enjoyed Chicago. Aunt Mamie still drank out of her Oprah mug up until her death in November!

This video is priceless to me and to my family because it allows us to see our Mamie and Gloria the way they truly were on this earth: vibrant, happy, alive. I am so thankful that someone saved this clip and posted it onto youtube.




Kelly and I are blessed to have OUR mom love us the way she does. She's truly selfless and is daily pleading the Blood over her girls, husband, and now son-in-law and grandbabies. She's the glue that holds our family together - she always has been. There are no words to describe my gratitude and eternal love for my Mama, Janice Hawkins. She's God's greatest gift to the Hawkins/Beall family. I love you, Mom.

Mmm, mmm, love her!

Can you get enough of this face?!? She's too adorable. And we just can't kiss her face enough. Ellyotte might be the happiest, well adjusted baby on the planet - a far cry from Noah at 8 months... Maybe I am more at ease with being a mom second time around. Who knows. But, she's an easy and sweet baby.

Ellyotte weighs 19 lbs 4 ounces and is in the 75th percentile for weight at 8 months. She has her bottom two teeth and is about to cut her top front teeth. Not fun! She's had two ear infections in the last month... Ahhh. I am praying that it isn't anything serious and we don't have to go the "tubes" route. I am confident we won't though.

Ellyotte is just about to take off into the crawling world - if she sees something she wants, she scoots to it. It is funny to watch. Not too long till she's fully on the move though.

We love this baby - just adore her. She giggles so much when Dan walks into the room and buries her face into my shoulder. It's too cute.

I delight in this baby girl. And I delight in her big brother. God has been good to this family.