The difference of a couple of hours!

Since Friday night, my little family has gotten no sleep! We had to be at Montgomery airport at 4 am for our flight to Seattle. Then once in Seattle we went to dinner..... At 2 pm! Then literally all of us went to sleep at 4:30 pm. Ellyotte wasn't comfortable due to teething and overall exhaustion so she and I were up on and off all night....Till 1 am when we four had to get to the military terminal to check in for our flight. That particular flight now doesn't even leave for an extra 5 hours!!!! Holy moly....

We are exhausted and emotionally drained but at least we are together. Praise God for that. More soon.

Perfect weekend

My sister may have been the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Ever. The weather was perfect, the bride exquisite, the tone of the day calm, the center of the day Christ centered. One couldn't have asked for more.

Adam and Kelly are so in love and so perfect for each other. Standing next to them as matron of honor, I witnessed a true joining of two believers hearts. I'm confident my sister will be protected, loved and honored for the rest of her life.

Daddy's home!

Dan is home! One week from today, my sister gets married and two weeks from today, we move as a family of four to Japan. I am LOVING having my hot husband home!! This is the best ending to a long stinkin and depressed summer. I'm so thankful by how far God has brought me out of the deeeeep hole I was living in. I will update on that soon..... Till then, know that Dan is home and this family is on full blown wedding mode!

Fall beach fun

I love that we are able to come down to the beach all the time. This summer has been great in the aspect that our babies have spent tons of fun in the sand and sun. Right now it is only 70 something and pristine! Here are my favorite shots from the weekend down here

Wow!!

Everyday I am continuing to improve and God has really used this time at home and given me "beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair."

We are within 4 weeks of relocating to Japan and we are soooo excited to see Dan again! Noah's got the countdown going. And the wedding of my little sister is 3.5 weeks away. Being a matron of honor is a lot of work! Albeit, joyous work.

Thank you all for your sweet comments and emails. I know I have let some of my readers down by not posting faithfully or posting about the depression. But hopefully my brutal honesty is helping someone else who might not know how depressed they truly are. I didn't know how down I was till I got home to Alabama and my parents and sister witnessed me hit rock bottom while my husband was across the world.

If you think that this sounds like you, there is a way out!!! Called anti depressants!! And prayer. God didn't make us to crawl through life: He intended for us to jump with joy at the beginning of each day. I'm daily coming closer and closer to that jumping!!

Thank you for your support. My lighter posts about hair cuts and kids are gonna start again soon :)

Not easy.

I have started to write a blog entry time after time and have slammed my computer shut. Y'all know I'm real - but staying real on a daily basis is hard.

(take a deep breath, GO.....) I've been dealing with serious depression. There. You know what's wrong. Since at least last Thanksgiving, I've been on a downward spiral. I hit rock bottom during my sisters bachelorette weekend in New Orleans. I'll spare y'all the details but I was a nanosecond away from self combustion.

I miss my husband, my babies (while beautiful) are such a handful, transitioning from America to Japan, living in meantime with my family, it's been a tough time for me. Yea, it could be much much worse but I was in some dark places. Closest I've ever been from marking "yes" on the doctors questionnaire about if you want to hurt yourself..... That bad.

After an emergency visit to the psychiatrist here in Montgomery, (and short of being committed) I was prescribed some meds and within 48 hours, I felt a foot closer to normal.

When you are that depressed, you think you are normal. Yet those around you are broken trying to make you see how broken you are! It's a vicious cycle.

These months home before heading to Japan have been blessed but so trying. It's a humbling experience to walk outta the fog that depression leaves you in and realize you have a LOT to account for; lots of folks who deserve reconciliation because of my faults.

A friend I haven't been. A good wife, Nope. An attentive mom, I've tried. A best friend to my sister, what's that? You get the drift.

I'm daily walking more closely hand on hand with my God. And am the biggest proponent of medication; it has been what allowed me to feel normal again. And if I'm on it for the rest of my earthly days, I'm cool with that because the darkness I've been wading thru has been way brutal.

There. Ya have it. I'm not strong, I'm not a great military wife. I am trying to make it one breath to the next for myself, my husband, my babies, my family and my friends. If I've hurt you, please forgive me. I'm truly sorry.

Love, Me.

Trojans!

We are having such a good time cheering on the Trojans this last month before we move to Japan!