Blood Clot Update

What a rocky week we have had!! Getting settled in with a newborn is something in and of itself but doing so while still healing from a c-section AND a blood clot in the lung is an entirely different animal.

I started the week with very little energy and just not feeling well. Tuesday was even rougher because when my nurse came to draw my daily blood, she found that my levels had dropped for no apparant reason. That was way disturbing to us because I was on serious levels of Coumadin and my shots, Lovenox (2x a day). But, by Wed, my levels increased back to 2.0 and by yesterday (and because they had me on 2.5 times the normal amount of Coumadin) they had risen to 2.6. What a blessing!

So, Dan just gave me my *last* (HOPEFULLY!) shot in the stomach this morning and we are hopeful that when my nurse comes this afternoon, she will see that my levels are stable and that I won't have to have bloodwork done every day. I will remain on the oral thinners indefinitely but the shots should be done.... Hallelujah!!! My sides are so bruised and pathetic with shot marks.

My mom left this morning and we were sad. But it will be nice to have me feeling somewhat better and our family of 4 alone this weekend before my mother in law comes Monday for a week. We need and love the help but poor Noah needs his mom and dad back exclusively for a few days. He's missing his Jan-Jan already and is super excited Grammy comes Monday.

We took Ellyotte to her 2 week check up. Unfortunately, she's only 7 lbs, 9 ozs - down 5 ounces from her birthweight still. She should've reached her birthweight by now so we are continuing to supplement her in addition to breastfeeding. I am doing my best as is she with the nursing but I think the stress and scary events we went through last week doubled up with my separation from my baby for 3 days did a number on my supply.

So I am working to increase my milk so she won't have to be supplemented. I am committed to nursing her for at least 6 weeks and after that, I will see how I feel about nursing vs. formula. Noah was a formula baby and is just fine, so I am still pushing through for the next 4 weeks and will decide then based on my supply. But I refuse to supplement in addition to breast feeding indefinitely - that is such a pain. I would rather do one and not both.

Dan's still home with us till Monday. I meet with my internist on Monday to see where we stand with the blood clot - I am anxious to make sure that this was a one time event and not a disorder. I hopefully will find this out on Monday and will let you know.

Thank you all for continued prayers - I need them everyday. While I feel better and while my numbers continue to improve, the clot remains in my lung. It hasn't been absorbed or removed from my lung and will take some time to go away. So I am still having to take it easy and think more of myself first (not easy to do for a mom of 2). But my sweet husband and mom have taken great care of me and are almost MEAN about making me sit down or go to bed. It is annoying but I am learning to get used to it and learning to let go of the control I am used to having over my home!

Please remember me in your prayers still - and pray this clot out of my system permanently. I am ready to be 100% healed!

What a (First) Week

It is great to be back home from the hospital. The babies are so happy to have me back home. Ellyotte and I are slipping back into a feeding routine and I am happy. I do have to nurse her a lot more during the day but I realize that is because we are still working on the amount of milk she needs vs. the amount I actually have at this point. Being back in the hospital without my baby for those 3 days did a number on me so we have some more work to do until we are at a comfortable, working feeding level! But praise God I am able to nurse this time around: I am so glad she's a good nurser and I am so thankful that vast amounts of medicines I am now on due to the clot are safe enough for breast milk (I don't know how they are safe, but the doctors and lactation consultant assure me they are...).

Ellyotte is the most wonderful baby. Noah was so colicky by the second week and I was so miserable and uncomfortable as a new mom. This time around, I feel more confident and relaxed and it doesn't hurt that Ellyotte absolutely isn't a cryer unless she's wet or hungry; and even then she doesn't really cry, she just squawks!

She is incredibly beautiful: blue, blue eyes and black hair. Her complexion is very olive - a lot like the Hawkins side of the family (my dad, sister and my dad's sisters and brother). Noah got my Irish side and Ellyotte got the American-Indian side of my family. But, while the coloring is from my side, the looks (especially Ellyotte at this point) are all Dan's. She looks a lot like her daddy and is just gorgeous. She sleeps soooo much right now and is incredibly happy when she's awake. She wakes for one night time feeding at this point (whoo hoo!) but that is partially because I wait to give her a nighttime feeding till late - right before we go to bed.

I am being poked and prodded still - home health care and the shots in my stomach daily are realllly annoying and I am covered in bruises and needle marks and getting lots of blood drawn daily but I am not complaining (even though I want to).

This is a painful and emotional time. Each day I am realizing more and more how blessed I am that this was caught. And I am also going through a lot post surgery emotionally and post baby emotionally. There are a lot of tears being shed regularly in our home right now. We feel so blessed on so many levels. God has spared us and I am grateful and trying not to take a single moment for granted.

Medically, I am doing okay. Weak and unfortunately the clot is still in my lung. I am still on bedrest and that is tough - I am not good at relaxing! I don't seem to have any more clots in my legs that we have to be concerned about and my blood levels are rising daily. I need to be between a 2-3 and on Thursday, I was a 1.1, Friday I was a 1.3, yesterday a 1.7 and we are waiting to get results from my blood work today. Still double doseages for my thinners till I am at a safe level so we are praying that will be soon.

Here are some beautiful pictures of our little ones. My heart is overflowing with love and thankfulness right now.

In the Blink of an Eye...

I am exhausted. But I wanted to thank you all for your prayers. Most of you know that on Tuesday, I got a blod clot that traveled to my lung (pulmonary embolism). I was short of breath all day on Tuesday and my mom was so worried about me. She finally made me call the doctor, we were sent immediately into the ER and I had a CAT scan. They discovered the clot and admitted me into the heart unit immediately. I had an ultrasound on my legs and the clot didn't develop there so we aren't sure where it came from. But, it lodged in my lung and the fact that it didn't take my life right away isn't lost on me.

The doctor came into my ER room a bit frantic - this was more serious than I thought it would be. He told me about the clot... in my lung and the ball got rolling. My symptoms were primarily shortness of breath all day and faintness and had it not been for my mom, I wouldn't be here to type this blog entry. I don't know how much time I had, but apparantly (according to doctors) not much. Mind you, this was all happening less than a week after my c-section with Ellyotte so I had been through a lot already.

I am still dealing with the intensity of the fact that a miracle was performed on me and I was spared. All the doctors that saw me told me how thankful I should be to be alive, all the nurses said the same thing, and my own uncle (mom's brother) died from a blod clot that developed after knee surgery. So, it runs in my family.

We are waiting to find out if this was caused by the c-section or if I have a clotting disorder. I should find out within the week the blood results. I was released from the hospital last night and sent home on bedrest and in the care of home health care. I receive twice daily shots into my stomach (blood thinner) and am on twice the normal doseage of Coumadin (another thinner). I will be on Coumadin for at least the next 6-9 months but most likely on it for the rest of my life. I am on pain killers and literally only allowed to walk from point A to B. Not an easy time for me right now physically.

My dad and sister came right back into town to help out with the babies and Dan is taking time off indefinitely to be here. He will be home at least till my Lovanox stomach shots are done after the next week. Dan has to administer the shots to me each day, twice a day. He has done better than any nurse has done for me. Maybe because he cares the most about me! And my home health care nurse comes each day to do my blood work and check vitals, etc. They have to closely monitor my blood and my reaction to the thinners. As of this afternoon, my levels were not where they need to be. I am at a 1.3 and need to be within 2-3 at this point. So we are praying the thinners and the increased doseages begin to really do their jobs (another prayer request).

Ellyotte is doing well, she has been a wonderful baby given that she was away from me for 2 days and nights. Poor Dan had baby duty and my mom had Noah duty 24/7 - not good with a breast feeding baby. I had to pump constantly to relieve myself since she couldn't be in the hospital with me - I only got to nurse her once in the two days I was there. I got so engourged one night that I slept with ice packs! I was desparate for Ellyotte to visit me the next day... It was a long wait. Thankfully, she got right back to nursing as soon as I returned and thankfully, all of the medicines I am on (including the thinners) are okay for me to continue trying to nurse. We were floored by that because I am on a lot of medication right now.

Noah had many meltdowns - he did as well as could be expected given all of the changes he's been through this past week: mom and dad gone to have baby sister, new sister arrives, mom and dad still gone, new baby comes home, mom can't do much while healing, then mom disappears again leaving baby at home... He wanted me home so bad and didn't understand, but he remained sweet despite the changes (well, for the most part!).

I have to go feed a sweet baby girl and get a shot in the tummy - boo. But know that your prayers were so appreciated and I am thankful for you all for lifting me and my family up before the Throne. The thoughts of not being around while my children grew up and not being a wife to my husband has wrecked me. But satan will not win this battle - our home is not his for the taking. I am so glad to be home again and while bedrest is tough and being waited on in my own home is tough, and while I am weaker than I can ever remember being before, I am the most thankful I have ever been for life and the beauty of each breath.

Thank you again, I have to say that it was because of the prayers of the faithful that I am healing and am home.