This is the letter I sent to my family and a few friends yesterday: the one year anniversary since my pulmonary embolism. The 'thank you' extends much further than those I emailed. I want to thank you all for your prayers and support that literally spared my life. Thank you all so much.
_______________________________________
Family,
One year and six days ago our family welcomed precious Ellyotte. To me, life couldn't get much better than it was holding her in my arms and being surrounded by all of you in the hospital room. But it could get much worse....
One year ago today, 27 July 2010, was the most frightening day of my life, thus far. And having to watch my mom go through it all again (since her brother died from the same thing I had: a pulmonary embolism) was agonizing.
This has been a long, but blessed year. The prayers that Mrs Lucy McKee (who has since gone to become a member of that glorious host of angels advocating and praying on our behalf from above) sent up on my behalf days before the clot even happened, and because she was listening to the Spirit, saved me.
And because my mom also listened to the urging of the Holy Spirit and walked into Noahs room and caught me trying to breathe and forced me to the ER, we were able to catch the PE in time.
The support and prayers lifted up on my behalf after it happened sustained me. I am so thankful to no longer be on blood thinners and able to exercise and travel and enjoy life to the fullest. And it is because of you - blood family and friends - that I am here.
I was at my lowest point ever in that hospital bed in the heart unit - having just spent 3 days in the labor and delivery unit celebrating our new life. Dan had to take new Ellyotte home and be with my mom and noah while I got injections and blood work done all night and several days following. One of my best friends, Amy Hall in Nashville, let me wail and sob and fall apart on the phone while she just listened and prayed for me. She will never know what her quiet strength did for my breaking spirit at that dark hour in my life. And having my dad and sister get right back into the car after having just returned to Alabama following Ellyottes birth, meant the world to me. Then my mother in law and sister in law, Annie, selflessly sacrificing their time and love to come take care of me and the babies while I healed was exactly what I needed.
Most of all, my husband and my mom's support - emotionally, spiritually and physically - through those days following the clot was what initially brought me through and allowed me to get on the road to recovery.
Thank you all for your love and support; you have no idea how much it means to me and Dan. He was facing being a widower and father of two babies - God clearly had a different plan than Satan and I praise him for that. He is worthy and greatly to be praised.
Love,
Katie
Our Babies
Showing posts with label blood clot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blood clot. Show all posts
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
07.21.2010
In 5 days, our precious Ellyotte Pierce Beall will be 1. I am dumbfounded by the way the year has gone by and how it is a blur yet a lifetime. There is no way to imagine my life before my daughter entered it. Every smile, laugh, nose crunch, reach for me, whine, word spoken, dirty diaper, roll on the floor with her brother, everything my baby girl does melts me and molds me closer to her. She's my mini me and my fresh start. The innocence that surrounds both of those babies is surreal. I want to keep it that way forever.
The love I have for our first born, Noah, is so different from the love I have for my girl. I don't love him or her more or less; it is just DIFFERENT. Just today, I called Noah my baby. He said "I not a baby. I'm big." Yet he knew when I called him my baby what I meant. He knows he will always be my baby boy. He's my fiesty redhead - a reminder of my very Irish heritage and of my beloved Aunt Mamie who passed onto Heaven in November; he's the antagonist in my days, the one I go head-to-head with constantly; the one I "nap" in "mama's bed" with... even though I rarely sleep, I let him nuzzle in the crook of my arm and I just breathe him in. He still says "I wanna hold you mama." Gah, that melts me and no matter how frustrated I am by him, I let him "hold" me. But Ellyotte.... I look at that face and I am just amazed by how differently I love her.
When she was delivered via scheduled c-section on 21 July 2010 and entered this planet at 8:05 AM, I had no idea how my life would change. Obviously for the better, long term. But within six days - 144 hours - I was back in the hospital facing MY eternity and my babies and husband were facing their lives without me in them. I sat on the phone with one of my best friends on this earth, Amy Hall, all alone in a hospital bed in the heart unit of the same hospital where life had just begun for my daughter and sobbed to the depths of my soul. She just let me and prayed for me because I was at a loss for words.
As I've said in previous posts, all I could hear over and over in my brain were the words Sally Fields screamed in "Steel Magnolias" in the graveyard after her baby was buried: "(Her son) will never know how wonderful his mother was and how much she loved him." I had carried Elly since conception and not for one second - even when we craved sleep in the hospital post surgery and I asked the nurses to take her to the nursery and within 15 minutes, I couldn't stand her being 30 feet away and made them bring her back - had I been away from her.
Yet, I kissed her new head, nursed her and sent her home with the love of my life, the father of my babies, to be with MY mom - who had given me MY life and who was at MY house hysterically crying and praying over HER firstborn. My mom had lost her only brother to a pulmonary embolism following knee surgery so she was my angel in disguise. She found me gasping for air, she forced me to go to the hospital and despite her deepest anguish and fear, she kept my house running and took care of herself, my babies and my husband while I struggled.
That is how Ellyotte's first year on this earth started. The months following her birth, she went with us to internist, OB, hematologist appointments and never cried or protested. God gave us a baby that we needed for the challenges we faced. She's never been a challenge: unlike Noah, no colic, no sleepless nights, no prolonged crying. At one year, she sleeps 14 hours a night and still takes two long naps during the day. But when she misses a nap here and there, she never cries. Dan swears that when she cries, it is because we have done something wrong. And, that is usually the case.
Our Elly Belle is the sweetest, happiest baby we have ever been around. We've been told time and again we should never, ever even consider getting pregnant again (because of my uterine window condition and the clotting disorder I have), and given how good Ellyotte is and how wild Noah is, we might want to consider that advice: nothing gets better than Miss Ellyotte! She's the best baby ever and we would be pressing our luck if we pursued adding any more to our brood. For as good as she is, we'd be begging for one just as bad!
At ONE YEAR, Ellyotte is:
- 22 lbs, 11 ounces and 31" long. She is a LONG string bean!
- Wears size 2T in clothing - because of her length.
- Wears a size 4 shoes. Still a bit big on her but she no longer comfortably fits into a 3...
- Says many things: Cat- eeow (everything animal wise - even our fish - are cats!), bah (for bottle or food), night night (when she's tired at night), nap (yep, she tells me when it is time for nap), buhbuh (for Noah), dah-dah (daddy), maaaahhhhh-maaaahhhh (she's super dramatic when it comes to me!), jah-jah (for her Jan Jan - my mom), gahddy (for my dad, Graddy), dank-eeewwww (thank you).
- she's trying so hard to walk! Not too much longer. We think we inhibited her walking by putting her into her walker - which she's a speed demon in!
- Have I mentioned she's a mama's girl!? Yep, that she is.
We do have an appointment with a specialist on 4 August. It is the "final word" in our reproductive pursuits.... Dr. Groom will tell us once and for all if/when one or both of us should be sterilized. We know the challenges we face should we have more and we know that given how perfect our two existing babies are we shouldn't push our luck. But.... how do we KNOW that we aren't supposed to have more?? Yes. My uterus is a wreck and my blood condition is a mess. But do we trust the 15th "man" that tells us to never have any more children or do we trust God and not do anything to prevent a pregnancy? Is that irresponsible to disregard MY health for the life of another unborn child? Or do we trust the opinion of an extremely well respected high risk OB to be the final judgement call? Please pray for us and for our decision. We want to be responsible: I am a wife and a mother of two first and foremost. I realize what I am looking to risk to bring another life into the world but what am I supposed to do??? Sterilize myself or pursue our desire to add more to our family? Please pray....
Nonetheless, wish our baby girl - our MIRACLE baby, Ellyotte - a happy first birthday. For as many doctors that told me that I shouldn't still be alive, that same number have said that our daughter should have been the first casualty of the blood clot and the uterine window I suffered post-Noah c-section.
God bless this baby as she enters her 2nd year for she blesses so many others with her new and pure and sweet spirit.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Parallels.
284 days. That's how long it's been since my world could've and did change forever.
Right after the blood clot "threw" from my leg to my lung, my next door neighboor shared the story of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend with me. His wife suffered a pulmonary embolism 27 hours post c-section and he'd kept a blog about it since. However, in the haze of blood thinners and anxiety reducers and a brand new screaming baby, I didn't have the capacity or wherewithal to understand what she was telling me. My mission was to survive one hour to the next at that point.
Now, I get it.
That friend of a friend of a friend of a friend (etc) turned that blog into a book.
I was looking for a new book to read on my Nook when I stumbled upon one of the NY Bestsellers. It is called "2 Kisses for Maddy" by Matt Logelin. It didn't ring a bell but it should've. I'd read a review of it a few weeks ago but it was only with half of my attention. But two nights ago, I logged into Barnes and Noble and found "MY STORY."
I began reading it and couldn't put it down. Literally, it was like a car accident you watch - although you don't want to - and you can't turn away. It was our story, my story.
Dan and I began dating when Matt and Liz Logelin began dating; we dated for years upon years long distance; we got engaged at the same time; their wedding happened - lavishly - a month before ours did in 2005; they became pregnant at the same time we did and their first baby was born exactly one month after our Noah was born via c-section.
However... their story ended, while ours continued. She delivered their daughter named Madeline and just 27 hours post c-section, she got up to walk around the hospital room on the way to see her baby girl and literally uttered the same exact words I did when my mom found me struggling to breathe: "I'm light headed." Those were Liz Logelin's last words, but not mine.
My story continued and I went to the hospital to be diagnosed with a massive pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung), I walked in with my 6 day old daughter in my arms. She died before ever having held her Madeline in her arms.
To say that this book is rocking me to my core is an understatement. It is my story. Our story. But our's continued. Their's stopped. I told Dan about the book I was reading and he said "What I almost lost is not lost on me." Dan Beall was facing raising two babies alone and I never would've known the joy that Ellyotte Pierce brings to my life. When I say that I am transfixed on that baby girl, I am not exaggerating. She's my world - as is Noah. Not a moment goes by that I don't remember that they were almost without a mommy.
Just a week ago, I had a doctor tell me: "Young lady, you are a walking miracle. I don't have one patient I treated with a pulmonary embolism that survived." Huh?! He couldn't believe that I walked into the ER and was able to tell the personnel that I couldn't breathe... that I was light headed. I love being reminded that my life today, at age 30 (at the time of the PE), is a miracle. That Elly is a miracle; I have heard more than once that the clot should've passed thru her umbilical cord and she should be a stillborn. That I am here to raise a rowdy, accident prone 3 year old is a miracle. And that I am here to love my beloved husband into old age is nothing short of a miracle.
I am reading Matt Logelin's story and thinking of it being my Dan in his position. Laying on that stretcher after kissing my baby girl (6 days old...) and my husband goodbye as they wheeled me to do an immediate ultrasound on my legs to see if there were any additional clots via ultrasound, I thought over and over of that scene from "Steel Magnolias" when Sally Field screams "this baby will NEVER know how wonderful his mother is or how much she loved him." And I thought that Dan would remarry, if I didn't make it. It broke my heart thinking that my babies would never know me or the love I have for their father.
Thankfully, the PE didn't kill me. And I am here. 284 days later. Every moment with Elly is a blessing, every kiss I steal from my redhead is annointed, every secret moment Danny and I have together is sacred. I don't forget to tell my mom and dad how much I love them; my sister hears regularly that I adore her and I am proud of her.
Don't miss the chance to LOVE like you fully can - embrace each moment to love your family and friends like it is your last. Liz Logelin had to leave her legacy for Madeline to learn about through her daddy and her friends. Katie Beall lived - defied the odds - to love like I was born to love. I challenge you to do the same and not leave it to your loved ones to pass along your legacy. Pass along your legacy every moment you are blessed to be on this earth. That is my challenge to you.
Right after the blood clot "threw" from my leg to my lung, my next door neighboor shared the story of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend with me. His wife suffered a pulmonary embolism 27 hours post c-section and he'd kept a blog about it since. However, in the haze of blood thinners and anxiety reducers and a brand new screaming baby, I didn't have the capacity or wherewithal to understand what she was telling me. My mission was to survive one hour to the next at that point.
Now, I get it.
That friend of a friend of a friend of a friend (etc) turned that blog into a book.
I was looking for a new book to read on my Nook when I stumbled upon one of the NY Bestsellers. It is called "2 Kisses for Maddy" by Matt Logelin. It didn't ring a bell but it should've. I'd read a review of it a few weeks ago but it was only with half of my attention. But two nights ago, I logged into Barnes and Noble and found "MY STORY."
I began reading it and couldn't put it down. Literally, it was like a car accident you watch - although you don't want to - and you can't turn away. It was our story, my story.
Dan and I began dating when Matt and Liz Logelin began dating; we dated for years upon years long distance; we got engaged at the same time; their wedding happened - lavishly - a month before ours did in 2005; they became pregnant at the same time we did and their first baby was born exactly one month after our Noah was born via c-section.
However... their story ended, while ours continued. She delivered their daughter named Madeline and just 27 hours post c-section, she got up to walk around the hospital room on the way to see her baby girl and literally uttered the same exact words I did when my mom found me struggling to breathe: "I'm light headed." Those were Liz Logelin's last words, but not mine.
My story continued and I went to the hospital to be diagnosed with a massive pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung), I walked in with my 6 day old daughter in my arms. She died before ever having held her Madeline in her arms.
To say that this book is rocking me to my core is an understatement. It is my story. Our story. But our's continued. Their's stopped. I told Dan about the book I was reading and he said "What I almost lost is not lost on me." Dan Beall was facing raising two babies alone and I never would've known the joy that Ellyotte Pierce brings to my life. When I say that I am transfixed on that baby girl, I am not exaggerating. She's my world - as is Noah. Not a moment goes by that I don't remember that they were almost without a mommy.
Just a week ago, I had a doctor tell me: "Young lady, you are a walking miracle. I don't have one patient I treated with a pulmonary embolism that survived." Huh?! He couldn't believe that I walked into the ER and was able to tell the personnel that I couldn't breathe... that I was light headed. I love being reminded that my life today, at age 30 (at the time of the PE), is a miracle. That Elly is a miracle; I have heard more than once that the clot should've passed thru her umbilical cord and she should be a stillborn. That I am here to raise a rowdy, accident prone 3 year old is a miracle. And that I am here to love my beloved husband into old age is nothing short of a miracle.
I am reading Matt Logelin's story and thinking of it being my Dan in his position. Laying on that stretcher after kissing my baby girl (6 days old...) and my husband goodbye as they wheeled me to do an immediate ultrasound on my legs to see if there were any additional clots via ultrasound, I thought over and over of that scene from "Steel Magnolias" when Sally Field screams "this baby will NEVER know how wonderful his mother is or how much she loved him." And I thought that Dan would remarry, if I didn't make it. It broke my heart thinking that my babies would never know me or the love I have for their father.
Thankfully, the PE didn't kill me. And I am here. 284 days later. Every moment with Elly is a blessing, every kiss I steal from my redhead is annointed, every secret moment Danny and I have together is sacred. I don't forget to tell my mom and dad how much I love them; my sister hears regularly that I adore her and I am proud of her.
Don't miss the chance to LOVE like you fully can - embrace each moment to love your family and friends like it is your last. Liz Logelin had to leave her legacy for Madeline to learn about through her daddy and her friends. Katie Beall lived - defied the odds - to love like I was born to love. I challenge you to do the same and not leave it to your loved ones to pass along your legacy. Pass along your legacy every moment you are blessed to be on this earth. That is my challenge to you.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Answered Prayers
Friends,
Thank you for your prayers! THEY WERE HEARD: I am clot free! The blood clot has cleared from my lung and I am beside myself with humility and gratefulness. Thank you so much for keeping me lifted up - obviously the prayers of the faithful were heard and I am breathing free and clear of any clots.
God is so good. And I am so, so thankful. Thankful for life, for breath, for friends that have been beside me every step of the way lifting me and and my family up. These have been a tough and fragile 6 months.
Now I will be seen by a hematologist soon and will find out if this is a clotting condition or a one time thing. I am praying that this is not a condition and that I will no longer have to take blood thinners on a daily basis.
Nonetheless, I am clot free and incredibly grateful.
Love, Katie
Thank you for your prayers! THEY WERE HEARD: I am clot free! The blood clot has cleared from my lung and I am beside myself with humility and gratefulness. Thank you so much for keeping me lifted up - obviously the prayers of the faithful were heard and I am breathing free and clear of any clots.
God is so good. And I am so, so thankful. Thankful for life, for breath, for friends that have been beside me every step of the way lifting me and and my family up. These have been a tough and fragile 6 months.
Now I will be seen by a hematologist soon and will find out if this is a clotting condition or a one time thing. I am praying that this is not a condition and that I will no longer have to take blood thinners on a daily basis.
Nonetheless, I am clot free and incredibly grateful.
Love, Katie
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Blood Clot Update
I am asking for prayer. Tomorrow (Friday) morning, I have the 'big' CAT scan to determine if the blood clot in my lung has dissolved. This is a big deal - I have been on multiple miligrams of blood thinners for 6 months now in the hopes of making this clot dissolve.
I cannot believe that it has been 6 months and 6 days since Ellyotte entered the world... And I cannot believe that it has been 6 months TODAY since I re-entered the hospital with a pulmonary embolism.
To date, 27 July 2010 was the worst day of my life. I will never, ever, never forget the loneliness and fear that I felt as they wheeled me into the heart unit into an empty hospital room and having to say goodbye to my newborn baby girl and my husband. In those first hours, we honestly didn't know if I would survive the clot and I was petrified that I wouldn't see them again. I wept openly on the phone with one of my best friends, Amy Henderson Hall, as she prayed for me and passed out updates to our friends and families. The memories of those hours spent alone in that hospital room are still as fresh and as raw as if the event happened yesterday.
But God is good and has a mighty plan for my life and for the lives of my children. We heard time and again that Ellyotte should NOT be alive - that due to the uterine damage I had (didn't know about till Ellyotte's c-section) and due to the fact that the blood clot likely developed while I was pregnant - she is by every meaning of the word, an absolute "MIRACLE."
Had my mom not been with me on 27 July 2010 and had she not lived through the same thing with her brother, my Uncle George, and known to send me right to the hospital, I wouldn't be here typing this today. My Uncle passed away following surgery from a pulmonary embolism so my mom was familiar with the symptoms - Dan and I were not.
I am anxious for tomorrow's procedure because we want nothing more than for this clot to be gone. I want to return to normal life: no more blood thinners everyday at 4:00 pm, no more trips to the hospital to get my blood tested every 10 days, no more visits with an internist I don't really like, and no more fear that this clot is dwelling in my lung and that any minute, I could "throw" it and drop dead. I am sick of the drama that has come with this clot and am ready to hear the words "It is gone."
Sometime within the next week, I will stop my thinner regimen long enough to be seen by a hematologist. He will do full blood testing to determine if this is a clotting condition or a one-time occurrence. Please join us in praying that this was a one time thing and that we never have to worry about this happening again.
I will let you know the results of the scan as soon as possible tomorrow. Thanks, everyone.
I cannot believe that it has been 6 months and 6 days since Ellyotte entered the world... And I cannot believe that it has been 6 months TODAY since I re-entered the hospital with a pulmonary embolism.
To date, 27 July 2010 was the worst day of my life. I will never, ever, never forget the loneliness and fear that I felt as they wheeled me into the heart unit into an empty hospital room and having to say goodbye to my newborn baby girl and my husband. In those first hours, we honestly didn't know if I would survive the clot and I was petrified that I wouldn't see them again. I wept openly on the phone with one of my best friends, Amy Henderson Hall, as she prayed for me and passed out updates to our friends and families. The memories of those hours spent alone in that hospital room are still as fresh and as raw as if the event happened yesterday.
But God is good and has a mighty plan for my life and for the lives of my children. We heard time and again that Ellyotte should NOT be alive - that due to the uterine damage I had (didn't know about till Ellyotte's c-section) and due to the fact that the blood clot likely developed while I was pregnant - she is by every meaning of the word, an absolute "MIRACLE."
Had my mom not been with me on 27 July 2010 and had she not lived through the same thing with her brother, my Uncle George, and known to send me right to the hospital, I wouldn't be here typing this today. My Uncle passed away following surgery from a pulmonary embolism so my mom was familiar with the symptoms - Dan and I were not.
I am anxious for tomorrow's procedure because we want nothing more than for this clot to be gone. I want to return to normal life: no more blood thinners everyday at 4:00 pm, no more trips to the hospital to get my blood tested every 10 days, no more visits with an internist I don't really like, and no more fear that this clot is dwelling in my lung and that any minute, I could "throw" it and drop dead. I am sick of the drama that has come with this clot and am ready to hear the words "It is gone."
Sometime within the next week, I will stop my thinner regimen long enough to be seen by a hematologist. He will do full blood testing to determine if this is a clotting condition or a one-time occurrence. Please join us in praying that this was a one time thing and that we never have to worry about this happening again.
I will let you know the results of the scan as soon as possible tomorrow. Thanks, everyone.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Blood Clot Update #2
Things are continuing to improve around here. Dan gets so mad at me because I just want to be NORMAL again and I think that moving around and doing chores makes me "normal" but he gets so angry with me because I just don't know how to relax. I am feeling somewhat better but it is a daily challenge.
Unfortunately, my c-section incision got infected a few days ago. I think the pain of breastfeeding, the infection and just still recovering from the blood clot (that is still in my lung at this point) that I had a scary situation happen Friday night.
Ellyotte woke for her feeding at about 4 am and I got up, went to the bathroom and as Dan changed her diaper, I went into the living room to get my Boppy pillow. On my way through the living room, I doubled over: I had ringing in my ears, I couldn't see anything and the worst part was that I couldn't breathe. (Remember that what sent me to the hospital to begin with was shortness of breath; we never knew that shortness of breath was a symptom of a blood clot.)
I sat down for about 2 minutes and tried to yell for Dan but nothing could come out loud enough. I made it back into our room and remember telling him that I couldn't breathe, and he freaked out. He put me back into bed, finished changing a hysterical and hungry Ellyotte and we began praying immediately. We honestly didn't know what else to do - I absolutely refused to call 911 and leave my Noah and Ellyotte again. Refused.
So we prayed and I regained my composure, fed the baby and tried to sleep some the rest of the night (didn't happen). The next morning, we called the doctor and she called what happened to me by some name I had never heard: basal something... Cannot remember. But I guess that the pain of the infection, engorgement, exhaustion, and low blood sugar caused the reaction and that spurred some anxiety. Because it went away, she didn't worry too much about it. But I have my appointment with my internist tomorrow and am anxious to see what she says.
I will also have another appointment to get my incision taken care of - my OB didn't want to put me on antibiotic over the weekend because of all the meds I am already on. She wants to see if it will clear up on its own... so I will see tomorrow. It is feeling a bit better already though and I am thankful.
Ellyotte was under her birthweight last Wednesday (born at 7 lbs, 14 ounces and weighed 7 lbs, 9 ounces at 2 weeks). So we doubled her feedings and low and behold: our little porker weighed in at the doctor yesterday (Saturday) at 8 lbs, 3 ounces!!! So we are very glad about that. She's doing great - definitely a cuddler though! She doesn't want to be put down at all - even after her midnight feeding. She's next to impossible to put back into her bassinet afterwards so I end up putting her in bed with us so I can get some sleep. I know, I know... not a good habit to start but rest and sleep are the most important things I can do for myself and this clot now so I am doing what I can.
Speaking of which, she's now asleep and Dan and I are headed that way. Dan goes back to work after a long, exhausting 3 weeks off - and I have appreciated every single minute that my precious husband has sacrificed to be my arms and legs when I haven't been able to do for myself. He's done things that we never knew we were signing up for 5 years ago... I will elaborate in a new post soon. I cannot express though what he means to me and the depth our love for each other has reached in this difficult time.
My sweet mother in law comes in tomorrow to help for the next week and we - especially Noah! - are so excited for Grammy to get here. Then she leaves next Monday and Aunt Annie (Dan's brother's wife and one of my best friends) comes on Tuesday for about 4 days. We love the help and I am going to LOVE the girltime!!
Unfortunately, my c-section incision got infected a few days ago. I think the pain of breastfeeding, the infection and just still recovering from the blood clot (that is still in my lung at this point) that I had a scary situation happen Friday night.
Ellyotte woke for her feeding at about 4 am and I got up, went to the bathroom and as Dan changed her diaper, I went into the living room to get my Boppy pillow. On my way through the living room, I doubled over: I had ringing in my ears, I couldn't see anything and the worst part was that I couldn't breathe. (Remember that what sent me to the hospital to begin with was shortness of breath; we never knew that shortness of breath was a symptom of a blood clot.)
I sat down for about 2 minutes and tried to yell for Dan but nothing could come out loud enough. I made it back into our room and remember telling him that I couldn't breathe, and he freaked out. He put me back into bed, finished changing a hysterical and hungry Ellyotte and we began praying immediately. We honestly didn't know what else to do - I absolutely refused to call 911 and leave my Noah and Ellyotte again. Refused.
So we prayed and I regained my composure, fed the baby and tried to sleep some the rest of the night (didn't happen). The next morning, we called the doctor and she called what happened to me by some name I had never heard: basal something... Cannot remember. But I guess that the pain of the infection, engorgement, exhaustion, and low blood sugar caused the reaction and that spurred some anxiety. Because it went away, she didn't worry too much about it. But I have my appointment with my internist tomorrow and am anxious to see what she says.
I will also have another appointment to get my incision taken care of - my OB didn't want to put me on antibiotic over the weekend because of all the meds I am already on. She wants to see if it will clear up on its own... so I will see tomorrow. It is feeling a bit better already though and I am thankful.
Ellyotte was under her birthweight last Wednesday (born at 7 lbs, 14 ounces and weighed 7 lbs, 9 ounces at 2 weeks). So we doubled her feedings and low and behold: our little porker weighed in at the doctor yesterday (Saturday) at 8 lbs, 3 ounces!!! So we are very glad about that. She's doing great - definitely a cuddler though! She doesn't want to be put down at all - even after her midnight feeding. She's next to impossible to put back into her bassinet afterwards so I end up putting her in bed with us so I can get some sleep. I know, I know... not a good habit to start but rest and sleep are the most important things I can do for myself and this clot now so I am doing what I can.
Speaking of which, she's now asleep and Dan and I are headed that way. Dan goes back to work after a long, exhausting 3 weeks off - and I have appreciated every single minute that my precious husband has sacrificed to be my arms and legs when I haven't been able to do for myself. He's done things that we never knew we were signing up for 5 years ago... I will elaborate in a new post soon. I cannot express though what he means to me and the depth our love for each other has reached in this difficult time.
My sweet mother in law comes in tomorrow to help for the next week and we - especially Noah! - are so excited for Grammy to get here. Then she leaves next Monday and Aunt Annie (Dan's brother's wife and one of my best friends) comes on Tuesday for about 4 days. We love the help and I am going to LOVE the girltime!!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Blood Clot Update
What a rocky week we have had!! Getting settled in with a newborn is something in and of itself but doing so while still healing from a c-section AND a blood clot in the lung is an entirely different animal.
I started the week with very little energy and just not feeling well. Tuesday was even rougher because when my nurse came to draw my daily blood, she found that my levels had dropped for no apparant reason. That was way disturbing to us because I was on serious levels of Coumadin and my shots, Lovenox (2x a day). But, by Wed, my levels increased back to 2.0 and by yesterday (and because they had me on 2.5 times the normal amount of Coumadin) they had risen to 2.6. What a blessing!
So, Dan just gave me my *last* (HOPEFULLY!) shot in the stomach this morning and we are hopeful that when my nurse comes this afternoon, she will see that my levels are stable and that I won't have to have bloodwork done every day. I will remain on the oral thinners indefinitely but the shots should be done.... Hallelujah!!! My sides are so bruised and pathetic with shot marks.
My mom left this morning and we were sad. But it will be nice to have me feeling somewhat better and our family of 4 alone this weekend before my mother in law comes Monday for a week. We need and love the help but poor Noah needs his mom and dad back exclusively for a few days. He's missing his Jan-Jan already and is super excited Grammy comes Monday.
We took Ellyotte to her 2 week check up. Unfortunately, she's only 7 lbs, 9 ozs - down 5 ounces from her birthweight still. She should've reached her birthweight by now so we are continuing to supplement her in addition to breastfeeding. I am doing my best as is she with the nursing but I think the stress and scary events we went through last week doubled up with my separation from my baby for 3 days did a number on my supply.
So I am working to increase my milk so she won't have to be supplemented. I am committed to nursing her for at least 6 weeks and after that, I will see how I feel about nursing vs. formula. Noah was a formula baby and is just fine, so I am still pushing through for the next 4 weeks and will decide then based on my supply. But I refuse to supplement in addition to breast feeding indefinitely - that is such a pain. I would rather do one and not both.
Dan's still home with us till Monday. I meet with my internist on Monday to see where we stand with the blood clot - I am anxious to make sure that this was a one time event and not a disorder. I hopefully will find this out on Monday and will let you know.
Thank you all for continued prayers - I need them everyday. While I feel better and while my numbers continue to improve, the clot remains in my lung. It hasn't been absorbed or removed from my lung and will take some time to go away. So I am still having to take it easy and think more of myself first (not easy to do for a mom of 2). But my sweet husband and mom have taken great care of me and are almost MEAN about making me sit down or go to bed. It is annoying but I am learning to get used to it and learning to let go of the control I am used to having over my home!
Please remember me in your prayers still - and pray this clot out of my system permanently. I am ready to be 100% healed!
I started the week with very little energy and just not feeling well. Tuesday was even rougher because when my nurse came to draw my daily blood, she found that my levels had dropped for no apparant reason. That was way disturbing to us because I was on serious levels of Coumadin and my shots, Lovenox (2x a day). But, by Wed, my levels increased back to 2.0 and by yesterday (and because they had me on 2.5 times the normal amount of Coumadin) they had risen to 2.6. What a blessing!
So, Dan just gave me my *last* (HOPEFULLY!) shot in the stomach this morning and we are hopeful that when my nurse comes this afternoon, she will see that my levels are stable and that I won't have to have bloodwork done every day. I will remain on the oral thinners indefinitely but the shots should be done.... Hallelujah!!! My sides are so bruised and pathetic with shot marks.
My mom left this morning and we were sad. But it will be nice to have me feeling somewhat better and our family of 4 alone this weekend before my mother in law comes Monday for a week. We need and love the help but poor Noah needs his mom and dad back exclusively for a few days. He's missing his Jan-Jan already and is super excited Grammy comes Monday.
We took Ellyotte to her 2 week check up. Unfortunately, she's only 7 lbs, 9 ozs - down 5 ounces from her birthweight still. She should've reached her birthweight by now so we are continuing to supplement her in addition to breastfeeding. I am doing my best as is she with the nursing but I think the stress and scary events we went through last week doubled up with my separation from my baby for 3 days did a number on my supply.
So I am working to increase my milk so she won't have to be supplemented. I am committed to nursing her for at least 6 weeks and after that, I will see how I feel about nursing vs. formula. Noah was a formula baby and is just fine, so I am still pushing through for the next 4 weeks and will decide then based on my supply. But I refuse to supplement in addition to breast feeding indefinitely - that is such a pain. I would rather do one and not both.
Dan's still home with us till Monday. I meet with my internist on Monday to see where we stand with the blood clot - I am anxious to make sure that this was a one time event and not a disorder. I hopefully will find this out on Monday and will let you know.
Thank you all for continued prayers - I need them everyday. While I feel better and while my numbers continue to improve, the clot remains in my lung. It hasn't been absorbed or removed from my lung and will take some time to go away. So I am still having to take it easy and think more of myself first (not easy to do for a mom of 2). But my sweet husband and mom have taken great care of me and are almost MEAN about making me sit down or go to bed. It is annoying but I am learning to get used to it and learning to let go of the control I am used to having over my home!
Please remember me in your prayers still - and pray this clot out of my system permanently. I am ready to be 100% healed!
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