Tired Bones

I am utterly, completely, excruciatingly bone weary. But....

It is amazing what traveling with a little one for weeks on end, thousands of miles from 'home' (our's happens to be Hawaii for the time being) will do to the bond between a mother and her child. My Noah has his 1 year molars coming in and he has been snatched from one sleep location to the next. So, to say that he's a bit unsettled is quite the understatement.

This week we have been in Nashville visiting my extended family and dearest friends. It has been a whirlwind. We had to leave Dan behind because he is in the trenches of the final 2 weeks of class at Maxwell AFB, and for that, we were really sad. But we needed to split town: my parent's new home is FINALLLLLY ready to move into and my mom needed Noah out of her hair! Of course, she's gaga over her only grandchild but a 1 year old + moving 20 years of stuff out of an old house and into a new one doesn't go well together.

He did so great on the 5 hour drive up here. He's still not a super great car traveller because he's used to 20 minute drives here and there in Hawaii (our island is not that big...). But he slept for about half of it and then we sang songs and he watched a movie in the backseat the rest of the way. I was thankful for that fun and peaceful ride up to Tennessee.

However.... that boy does NOT like to sleep in new places! He's a champ at sleeping in his own room in Hawaii and now even in his room in Troy at my parent's home. But the pain of teething and the new environments have meant that Noah ends up sleeping in bed with me. That means that my sleep is never very deep because I have an active dreamer rolling around and kicking me in the face all night.

Yet the bond that comes out of soothing your baby while he's writhing in pain and insecurity is almost addictive. YES, I despise the fact that my normally 13 hour straight sleeper is waking up periodically throughout the night crying desperately for me. And YES, I resent the fact that it is me only that he wants and that I can't let him cry it out for too long because the risk of others having a sleepless night is too great. But I begin to long for the peace that comes at night when it is just me and my boy in the quiet, dark room as he 'spoons' and snuggles up to my back. There is a real sense of "it is you and me in this dreamland alone" that grows between a mommy and her baby that is so precious.

I am a huge advocate of independent sleeping for children. And at home, there hasn't been one night that our boy has slept in our bed. But while we are far from home and while I insist on moving him from bed to bed to bed (Troy, Maxwell AFB, Nashville where he's slept in 2 different homes now, or Montgomery in my parent's new home), I will continue to cherish those nights that he wants only me to soothe him and to snuggle up to... because I know that one day, many years from now, I will be willing to give life and limb to have the warmth of my little man in bed next to me.

So, until we get back to the comfort and security of our Hawaiian home, I will continue to relish in the sleepless nights that have plagued me yet provided me sweet, sweet memories that I will remember for the rest of my life.