Just last week on our many flights home from Hawaii to D.C., an elderly man who was escorting a few special needs adults said "And I see you are expecting?" I was wearing an empire waisted shirt and I had been traveling all night so probably wasn't doing a good job sucking in. But still....
Then just tonight at a 4th of July barbeque I attended with my in-laws in Northern Virginia, an elderly woman (who happens to be suffering from terminal cancer, thus, I can't get too mad...) said - in front of a ton of people: "And I see you are expecting? When are you due?!" HUH??? I was wearing a splurge purchase Sophie Max empire waisted silk top that I adore. But now, it is tucked back in my suitcase to be thrown into the maternity clothing pile when we get to Louisiana.
Needless to say, I excused myself after coldly and pointedly answering her questions that followed and went into the driveway to call my sister and bawl. I have had it with people having so little social awareness! I want to put a sign on my forehead that reads: "I gained and lost 53 pounds because I had a baby. What's your excuse for being fat?!" Maybe that will deter some future rude comments that do a lot more damage than people realize.
The woman tonight came up and apologized profusely to me and my mother in law but the damage was done. I was embarrassed because she'd done it in front of so many people and I was feeling pretty cute in my Seven jeans capris and cute shirt. Guess that outfit is heading to the back of my closet now....
Even if a woman appears to be past her due date and possibly even in labor, do not ask her when she is due or what she's having or what the name of her baby is going to be, etc. There is no reason for anyone to risk offending or embarrassing another person like I have been in the past two weeks. I run 3-4 miles at least 4-5 times a week and have been very proud of my weight loss from my pregnancy with Noah. But one stupid a** comment from some stupid a** person can undo all that pride and self-confidence in a nano second.
5 comments:
I cannot believe that!! So sorry girl!!! I bet you don't even look prego. THose people obviously lived back in the day when the only time you wore and empire wait anything was when you were prego. i bet you looked cute!!
Bless you sweet heart. I can't believe people can be so insensitive--but they are.
Back in my day one of the cruelest things people would say was to a girl that was past due and hobbling around--"are you still here"!! Obviously she was, and very miserable.
I am sure you looked great, so you wear that outfit again.
When will you get to Shreveport. Did you say you are buying a house there. Where is it located. We lived somewhere off Line Ave. I loved living there--but that was in the 70s.
Katie...you look amazing! I just looked at your pics from Oahu. There is a pic of the three of you and you are wearing a pretty black spaghetti strap tank with white pants...girl there is not one thing about you that looks pregnant!
And you know what, who the heck cares? You are so pretty and take care of yourself, are healthy and feel good, so forget it. Don't let some stupid and insensitive comments crush your confidence. You are EXACTLY who God created you to be and are exquisite in His eyes. You better not put those clothes in the back of your closet...put them back on and work it like you did the first time around!:):) I have had the same comments btw...when I weighed EXACTLY what I did BEFORE conceiving Emily!!! So your takeaway=PEOPLE ARE STUPID!!
Obviously people just don't know some fashion when they see it....
You are BEAUTIFUL and the only ones that should be feeling embarassed or bad are those that asked!!
I have experienced the opposite with this pregnancy, people saying "oh i didn't even realize you were pregnant" after I bring it up. And my thought is "Ok, so you just thought I had gotten really fat??!!"
You are right, the best thing is to not say anything at all. So sorry for your terrible experiences but hopefully those rude people learned their lesson and you have saved some other poor soul down the road.
Katie: YOU are BEAUTIFUL! Don't even worry about what they said! And - don't pack that outfit! Wear it again and again! I'm positive that what you were wearing looked great! The ones who say things like that are usually either jealous or they just don't have any taste!! So... FULL SPEED AHEAD KATIE!
Take Care, Dr Deb
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