It was amazing to me how much I was able to get done between the hours of 9:00 am and 2:00 pm today. I cleaned, had my time with the Lord, continued to decorate our new home and was able to catch up on my preparation for the Political Science course I will be teaching this time next month online. I feel like a new woman - albeit a bit under the weather with a nasty cold.
It was so tough to drop Noah off for his first day; especially because I didn't go there with the intention of leaving him. We went to get him registered but since class began today and I desparately needed some "me" time, I decided at the last minute to leave him. He was so thrilled to get into his new class.... until he realized that I wasn't staying to play, too! All moms know what I am talking about when I say that the guilt that accompanies most things that you do as a parent was a tad overwhelming for me. We all question almost every decision or move we make as parents and I am wondering if that will ever stop!?
After dropping Noah off, I realized I had forgotten my cell phone in my diaper bag so I had to go BACK in after saying "goodbye" to Noah and the drama started all over again. He was being a Houdini - he actually hadrun between his teacher's legs to come find me when we ran into each other in the hall! It was pitiful.
While I still consider myself a "stay-at-home-mom," we had to do this for everyone's sake. Noah needs the social interaction with other kids his age (he's in a class of about 8-10 18 month olds), I need the time to focus on getting Dan ready to leave home for such a long road ahead of us and time to get myself organized for my class that I am going to teach starting this time next month. And I think BOTH Noah and I are going to need a break from each other twice a week once Dan has left home. So, while this was a hard day, it was a milestone that we inevitably had to cross over! And Noah was very ready to tell me all about his day at school when I picked him up this afternoon!
4 comments:
Being a stay-at-home mom most definitely doesn't mean your child is home 24/7. The best thing I ever did for Ava was enroll her in preschool last year. She LOVES playing with kids her age, and all children need socialization. Don't feel guilty for a second, Katie. You are doing what's best for you and your child. Every mom - working or staying home - deserves "me" time. You'll definitely need that when Dan's deployed and you truly have no break. Remember that a happy mom = a happy baby, too.
Lisa, have I told you lately what an awesome friend you are?? If not, then I have meant to. You are always soooo good about encouraging me with experiences you have had - and I love knowing you know where I am coming from militarily. Thank you - I mean it. Love, Katie
Callie has been in "school" for 2 8 hour days since she was 3 months old. I think it helps her learn A LOT! She still cries every single morning when I leave but by the time I drop Camdyn off and peek in her room again she's laughing and playing. It's great for my sanity/adult interaction and also great for her social skills and being around someone other than 'Mommy' all the time! I still feel guilty at times but realize I shouldn't! She has fun and so do I! I miss them like crazy but I appreciate the days I'm off with them...no matter how TRYING the day may be! I'm sure Noah LOVES it but still misses his Mommy! Don't feel guilty...you need this and so does he;-)
Oh, Katie - you're so sweet! I just know how much guilt I felt over every little thing, and no one told me that 1) it's normal, but not necessary, to feel that way, or 2) that it's perfectly normal to need time away from your kid. I thought it meant I was a bad mom to need a break. Trust me, I wanted to run away the first time Nathan deployed. He left a week before Ava's first birthday. I was still in the Air Force at the time. In the first month after he left, this is what happened to Ava: ear infections in both ears at the same time, broke out in a rash all over her body from her 12-month well baby shots, got hand-foot-mouth disease, and then a 4-day stomach bug where she lost two pounds. Doesn't sound like much, but when you're only 22 pounds, two pounds is a lot! That was just the FIRST month he was gone. The next month, she had another ear infection and got tubes put in her ears. It was so incredibly difficult, and I felt enormously guilty for actually being glad to drop her off at daycare some days.
I've said this before, but I think nobody ever talks about the "not-so-fun" parts of motherhood, and it continues this idea that motherhood is all smiles and giggles when in fact, it's really not like that all the time. I just want to be a voice that says it's OK to need me time, it's OK to not love EVERY part of being a mommy, and it's OK to sometimes miss the freedom of pre-baby life. It doesn't mean you love your child less; it just means like in every other part of life, it's not always a bed of roses. So, go on and enjoy your time alone while Noah's having fun at school - I most certainly enjoy my time while Ava's is!
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