Baby Toes

I know I have talked and talked about how much we have going on right now and I know that some of you out there must be sick of reading it by now. Just understand that when I complain via my blog, I am allowing myself some "venting" privileges that I don't get too much around my house these days! Unless it is my poor husband or a 16 month old, no one else is really willing to listen. So, indulge me, my blog friends!

This home is in chaos right now. There are suitcases strewn about that will not be unpacked from our Maui trip because we intend on adding to those suitcases already semi-packed since we will be "living" out of them these next several months. The dog is constantly following me around and just asking for me to put her back on Prozac for dogs; she's sensing some major changes in the air and rightly so since she's boarding a plane on Sunday for Annie and Todd's home in Pennsylvania where she will live for the next month and a half. The cat will leave Monday for Alabama for a few months with my parents in Alabama. Dan's finishing up his last work week at the Joint Intelligence Operations Center. The first set of movers come Monday to take our unaccompanied baggage and then the primary movers come Tuesday - Thursday to pack up our entire home. We ship our Camry a week from now, sign over our Pathfinder's title to our friends who bought it this weekend, and get ready to live out of those previously mentioned suitcases indefinitely!

To add anything extra to do to the mix is just out of the question.... unless it involves our Noah. This past weekend in Maui, Noah was constantly trying to rid himself of his clothes, diaper and shoes so he could enjoy the Maui sun and sand in the way God intended for him to enjoy paradise! At some point, he must of tripped and snagged his 4th toenail on his little right foot because the poor thing was ripped down to the cuticle. I mean, that nail peeled all the way back, leaving a pulpy mess of skin underneath it exposed. But it didn't come all the way off so sweet Noah kept catching that nail on everything, including his shoes. He never even whined when it happened so we aren't sure when the accident occurred (boys never cry over anything that girls would expect them to cry over!)

By last night, the toe was starting to turn really red and starting to ooze just a bit. And throughout the night last night, our boy was waking up every half hour or so in tears; it was obvious something was causing him a great deal of pain. When he woke up this morning after a fitful night of sleep, his toe was purple, oozing and twice its normal size. The baby was limping around the house - it was heartbreaking. So our pediatrician squeezed him in and got him started on some serious antibiotics: his FIRST EVER antibiotics! I was so sad to have to give him such nasty meds - he's never had more than Motrin in his baby system so this was a hard thing for me to deal with. I hate having to medicate him - that is for certain. Even our doctor couldn't stop commenting how he was one of her only patients to never have had an ear infection or something requiring antibiotics. I was thrilled to hear that!

Our doctor also discovered that what we thought was just a tiny rash was actually a fungal infection so she started him on an anti-fungal cream on his tummy and leg. She suspects that that occurred because of how much time he's been spending in his swimsuit on the beaches here in Hawaii.

I tell you all of this not to garner sympathy because it is just one more thing added to our overflowing plates but to tell you that no matter HOW busy a mom becomes, she will stop everything in its tracks to make sure her baby is 100% healthy. It is so amazing to me how I hurt when Noah hurts. I felt my toe throbbing today as he limped around the house and I couldn't help but pray that his pain could become mine. He wanted his Mama today and there was no one else that could take my place. He wrapped his arms so hard around my neck over and over and showered me with kisses. And when nap #2 time came around, he wouldn't let me go; he just wanted to be held and rocked as he fell asleep on my chest. I just allowed him to be close to me and although he couldn't say it, I know that it made him think he was feeling better.

There will be a day one day soon that I will ache to hold Noah and rock him like I did today yet he will be "too big" or it will be "gross" to him to be with his mama. I try to remind myself of that during moments like those that I had today with my baby. Never a greater feeling exists in this world than when your child wants ONLY YOU! Noah makes me feel so loved and appreciated and I would give my right arm any day, all day if it meant that he didn't have to suffer in even the slightest way.

It is amazing what an antibiotic will do when it is treating an infection. After his first dose, his toe was returning to a normal, healthy shade of pink and the oozing had slowed. I am very grateful for that. With all we have coming up, we need our boy to be as healthy and happy as possible.

Never Alone

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -- Antoine de Saint Exupery

There are limited people in our lives who will vow to stand beside us when no one else will. But I am certain that while I may feel beaten down, rejected, sad, and unworthy, every morning I wake up beside a man who adores me and who would lay down his life for mine.

My whole life, I had one overwhelming desire and that was to be swept off of my feet for a lifetime.... The heated passion that Dan and I immediately felt for one another was eventually joined by the spiritual connection that only occurs when "two become one."

When we wed on October 15, 2005, I was certain that my life couldn't become any richer. Then we found out that we were expecting Noah. I loved Noah from the moment I conceived him, but no one could prepare me for the waves of the most intense love imaginable that were about to descend upon me.

I hold my little boy now and breathe him in and it is in those quiet, peaceful moments alone with him that I am confident that I had never known selfless love until I became his mom. The way that he trusts me with complete abandon is beyond my comprehension; I am his entire world and Noah is truly the love of my and my husband's life. With no questions asked, I would give life and limb for my child.

Tonight was a hard night for me and my husband knew that. He just let me be and didn't require explanation or words. Dan just came over to me while I was washing dishes, wrapped his arms around me and whispered "I am sorry you are hurting." He didn't need to know exactly why nor did he feel like he had to do something; he just reassured me that he loved me and my hurt was his hurt. To be loved that completely goes beyond anything I ever expected as a little girl.

When all is said and done and everyone else on this earth might abandon me, I know that my boys require me; they need me. My family coupled with that handful of friends that have been my rock for decades now reassure me that I am indeed a blessed, blessed woman. And even better, I have the absolute certainty that when even my husband, my son, my family, and my closest friends have made their way to heaven - be it before me - that I am never, ever truly alone.

A Sick Mother's Day!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

This weekend for all intents and purposes was a good one. I had so much fun at the 14th Annual Aunty Belle's Mother's Day Bash in Waianae. I went with my girlfriend Stacie. Her grandmother, Tutu Belle, got mad at her husband 14 years ago and said "If you won't celebrate Mother's Day for me, then I will!" And ever since then, she's thrown a party for her women family and closest friends. They have amazing food, drink, music, games, and they always honor a special mother as well as raise money for charity. I wore the purple shirt that Stacie gave me to wear because I am now a part of her family and her sweet grandmother considers me an adopted grandchild.

We had plans to get up yesterday and go to church, go to lunch with Stacie, David and Baby David and relax yesterday afternoon. However, I woke up feeling terrible: nausceous, weak, and I thought it was just from a lack of sleep. But by the time we had taken our Mother's Day photos, gotten allll the way to church, Dan looked at me and said "We need to turn around." By the time the 3 of us got home, Dan and I couldn't run to the bathroom fast enough before throwing up. He had a fever and was so weak and I spent the rest of the day getting worse and vomiting more. It was AWFUL! Noah felt fine except for a little diarreah but we couldn't wait for him to go to bed so we could too! We put him down a little before 7 and by 8:30 pm, it was lights out for K & D Beall.

Dan went on to work this morning and I feel a tad better. But I am still extremely weak and achey. Dan called to say he's coming home early because he's still feeling bad and he knows I need some help today with Noah as I recover. (This is why living close to family comes in handy at times like these! I need a grandma or an aunt to come rescue me). Please pray that Noah doesn't get this virus - it was miserable for us yesterday and we are adults. I can't imagine him feeling that bad. Don't feel too sorry for me: I woke up this morning to a precious card and some Jello made with love that Dan left for me before he went to work! And on Wednesday night, Dan is taking me out to a fabulous restaurant where we have reservations while Stacie stays with Noah after he goes to bed. I can't wait!

Here are some of the photos taken on Saturday at the Mother's Day bash and then yesterday morning before we headed out the door and ALMOST made it to church! I did tell Dan that even though we were super sick, it was the first mother's day that I felt like a real MAMA. This time last year, I was at my sister's law school graduation with a 2.5 month old in Virginia and without my husband. I felt like a machine who was only needed to change diapers, feed Noah and be there when he cried (constantly). What a difference a year makes!

Lesson in Napping #2,053

Parenting is a constant source of education - sometimes painful and mostly joyful. However, an education from day 1 of conception and on.

I wrote about a week ago of our struggles with this toddler who has inhabited my sweet baby's body and his boycotting of naps. So, I took my friend Anne's advice and it has worked like a charm since (continuing thanks, Anne!). But I wanted to do some of my own deeper research so I purchased the book "The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems" by Elizabeth Pantley. I am learning quite a bit about why my child needs to nap and how much he needs to sleep during the day.

So often when talking to other moms, I have heard them say that their children just aren't nappers and will go all day without napping on a regular basis. I can't help but pity them! I am learning that every baby and child to the age of 4 or 5 NEEDS that extra sleep so they sleep better at night and they don't reach the "volcanic" stage of overstimulation. Also, the majority of brain and hormonal development occurs while a child is napping during the day so that uninterrupted, consistent and daily down-time for a child is vital for their growing brains/bodies.

I also have been told that at age 1, all children need to start consolidating their 2 naps a day into 1 long one. How untrue that actually is... 50% of all children take 1 long one a day but that leaves the other 50% who need 2 shorter naps. I struggled for weeks to try to consolidate Noah's naps into one long one and finally am learning why my child wouldn't cooperate. It would get to the point that by 10 a.m. he would go put his head down on the floor or on the dog's bed and try to sleep there. So thankfully, that book has come to my rescue! (And to Noah's rescue as well).

So, as of now at 14 months old, Noah will go to bed at exactly 7 pm with no fight, will sleep straight through till 7 am or 7:30 am (sometimes a bit later) and then is begging to go back to bed by 9 am at the latest. He will then nap for 1-1.5 hours, be awake for 3 or so hours, then back down post-lunch at about 1:30 pm for another 1.5-2 hours. Once I started reading the book, I was relieved to know that that schedule is OKAY and actually is the preferred method of 50% of all toddlers Noah's age. This schedule means that he's getting the necessary 14-15 hours of sleep that babies his age require.

For all of those mommies who are struggling the majority of the time to get their babies or children to nap well, then this book is highly recommended. It is a great resource for understanding why children need to nap and for how long and it also provides several different sample nap and daytime schedules.

Another 2 thumbs up from this Mom.

Steam Mop

I vacuum obsessively, but mopping? Not as often as I should. So when I received an email from my mom this morning (posted below) listing the dangers of my trusty Swiffer Wetjet mop, I immediately threw it away and went out to buy the steam mop my friend, Stacie, had been bragging about the past few days. I heard a long time ago about the dangers of Swiffer Wetjet mops and cleaning liquids but disregarded the warning as a typical, over-hyped email warning. This time though, I want to make sure that the terrible things that Swiffer can do to children and pets won't happen to MY family.

Read this:

DANGER ...Swiffer Wetjet

Recently my neighbor had to have his 5-year old German shepherd dog put down due to liver failure. The dog was completely healthy until a few weeks ago, so they had a necropsy done to see what the cause was. The liver levels were unbelievable, as if the dog had ingested poison of some kind. The dog is kept inside, and when he's outside, someone's with him, so the idea of him getting into something unknown was hard to believe.

My neighbor started going through all the items in the house. When he got to the Swiffer Wetjet, he noticed, in very tiny print, a warning which stated 'may be harmful to small children and animals.' He called the company to ask what the contents of the cleaning agent are and was astounded to find out that antifreeze is one of the ingredients (actually, he was told it's a compound which is one molecule away from antifreeze). Therefore, just by the dog walking on the floor cleaned with the solution, then licking its own paws, it ingested enough of the solution to destroy its liver.

Soon after his dog's death, his housekeepers' two cats also died of liver failure. They both used the Swiffer Wet jet for quick cleanups on their floors. Necropsies weren't done on the cats, so they couldn't file a lawsuit, but he asked that we spread the word to as many people as possible so they don't lose their animals.

This is equally harmful to babies and small children who play on the floor a lot and put their fingers in their mouths.

After reading this email from my mom who received it from a RN, I went with my girlfriend, Stacie, and bought the Shark Steam Mop. I bought the basic mop; Stace has the deluxe version that has all the attachments that allow you to clean everything from your floor to your toilet. But I just needed a good floor surface cleaner. (We are also about to splurge and buy the Dyson Animal Cyclone vacuum... We will literally be able to eat off of our floor soon!)



I couldn't take it out of the box, set it up and test it out quick enough! And let me tell you: this thing is AWESOME. It uses tap or distilled water only - no chemicals - and the pads are reuseable. You just remove after using and toss them into the washing machine. It is like a Swiffer Wetjet in the way that it is built but it plugs into the wall and uses steam only to clean and disinfect.

Another TWO THUMBS UP from this mom!

Back on Track

Wow, that didn't take long at all! Noah is back to two naps a day - each one lasting at least an hour to an hour and a half. This morning, he woke up after 12 hours of straight sleep, ate breakfast and with the rainy morning we were having, wanted to go right back to bed. He is just waking up now after 2.5 hours. HALLELUJAH!

My girl friend Anne Rieger gave me some good advice. She told me that what worked for her was deciding a nap time and sticking to it. But making sure that Noah knows I mean business when it is time to nap. So, I did what she said. The first day was a little tough but he's back on schedule and knows that when he gets put into his crib, it isn't time to play but is strictly time to sleep. And I have decided that no matter what time he wakes up, if it is before the time I decide for him to get up, then he stays in his crib.

We were somewhat doing the above tactics but traveling threw us off quite a bit and it has been a struggle since to regain the freedom that naptime affords me. So, once I lay Noah down, if he pops up again in protest, I go right back in and put him back on his back. The first day, it took 20 times and a couple of flicks on the leg (not spankings, but a snap or two to get his attention) and he finally protested himself to sleep. Same thing for each nap since then. But today, he went down without any peep.

I will keep you all posted on how things continue but so far, so good! I ordered two books this week that I am anxious to read (I know, that takes my list to 10!). The first is "No-Cry Method: Nap" and "The Happiest Toddler on the Corner." Both books boast about being the go-to texts on child and toddler napping help. I am looking forward to reading about how much I DON'T KNOW about making my child happy :) Just kidding... not really.

Update on Trial

The Grand Jury convicted the perp (his name is Contreras) Kelly's prosecuting on all charges. They are now waiting on a date for the case to proceed to trial. Keep praying for Kelly as she and her team are continuing to uncover many more children that this freak raped and abused in the last decade. She knows there are many more children that they have to contact and interview that had playdates and spend the night parties with the known victims while the perp was present. The numbers of innocent lives this guy has affected are astounding and unfortunately, are continuing to rise.

This is a neat article written a few months ago about my sister and her job. She's being harolded as an "up and comer" and I am so proud of her.

http://www.rsvp-montgomery.com/content/view/175/364/

For those of you who post your information on places like Craigslist, please be careful. I am a victim of the misconception that everyone who reads my blog or Facebook page are people that genuinely care about me and my family. My sister constantly reminds me that the Internet is literally the "big, bad monster" that no one should trust.

As we have seen this week on the news with the Craigslist killer in MA, anyone can be a killer yet look like the boy next door. Please don't post your phone number, naked pics of your children (notice I removed the naked boy photos of my Noah from our online albums...) or addresses online. You never know who's collecting your information to use against you when you are least expecting it.

Here is another article where Kelly is quoted talking about the dangers of the internet:

http://www.localwireless.com/wap/news/text.jsp?sid=121&nid=371135470&cid=132&ith=1&title=Top+Stories

Sure, I quote Kelly a lot, but don't I certainly have an expert in the field of the dangers of the Internet at my fingertips!? Kelly is the most protective aunt I have ever known: if I post something that is even QUESTIONABLE on the Internet that regards Noah, my phone rings immediately with strict orders to take the photo or story off my blog or Facebook page. That is why I feel compelled to share these warnings with you all.

Many of you have asked why I chose to make my blog public again. The answer is because I feel confident that the information I post is vague enough to an outsider that they wouldn't be able to locate me or my family or contact us. That is why I won't post photos of my parent's beautiful new home and that is why I haven't posted photos of our home here in Hawaii; despite the many requests that I have received.

Days Gone By?

This is just a short blurb to vent my frustrations.... Previous to our trip to Alabama at then end of February, Noah had been a fabulous napper. Taking 2-3 naps a day that extended well into 1.5 - 2 hour timeframe. However, since our trip and then since our return to Hawaii, napping seems to be a thing of the past.

His molars STILL haven't popped through. 3 of the 4 1 year molars are sitting just below the surface underneath painful looking blood blisters. But I refuse to give my child - and his tiny liver - Motrin everyday. And I am tired of rocking... and rocking... and rocking a 14 month old. No, I don't coddle him but sometimes I am so desparate for some time alone that I will do anything to get him to nap!

He's sleeping 12-13 hours at night and maybe sleeps a total of 1 hour in the daytime despite sheer exhaustion. He lays down on the dog bed to show me how sleepy he is, for crying out loud! Another thing we deal with constantly is that everytime he's in his crib (exception is the nighttime), he poops. I am so tired of reporting my child's pooping habits but it seriously is a nap-hindrance. Even if he's in a dead sleep, if he poops, he will become wide awake and naptime is over. Sometimes that means he gets 10 minute naps a day!!!!

Anyone else go through something similar at this age with their little ones? If so, I need some guidance. I hate to say it, but at this point, I am counting down till we can get moved and Noah is enrolled in a Mother's Day Out program so I can have some downtime to do the other things in my life that have been ignored for so long (i.e., bills, housecleaning, a SHOWER!).

Advice is greatly welcomed and appreciated here!

Prayer Request

Today, my amazing sister, Kelly, begins her prosecution at the grand jury trial of the sicko I told you all about a while back. He's responsible for violating and ruining the lives of many babies (beginning at ages 18 months - 24 months) who turned into children over the 6 years he raped them. Kelly has poured her heart and soul into this trial and it has been heartbreaking. But her attitude is one that I admire so much: If she doesn't do this for these children and victims, then WHO WILL?

Today she begins prosecuting this pervert as the Attorney General of Alabama (she's an Assistant AG but this is her case so she represents the actual AG). Please join me in prayer as my sister - not even one year out of law school - prosecutes this high visibility case before a grand jury. I will continue to update you as this trial unfolds. The little boys and little girls (and their mothers) who he victimized for so many years are finally getting the justice they have waited for.

To say that my little sister is admired by me is a laughable understatement. My sister is my hero and she's the angel to so many children she gets down on the floor with as they cry and share their tragic stories. She has the power to do something to bring a voice and light to the worst crime imagineable: taking away the innocence of a child. How dare anyone think they have that right? Kelly is truly an angel without wings and I am so proud of my baby sister.

Book Recommendation

I am an avid reader. On my bedside right now, there are 8 books - yes, 8 - that I have started and I am juggling all of them at once. And behind those 8 are another 4-5 that I have ordered and they are just sitting quietly waiting their turn to be cracked open.

At any point, you will find me working my way through a book on the Holocaust and/or Nazi figures. I am currently reading (albeit slowly) "Explaining Hitler" by Ron Rosenbaum as well as "Auschwitz: A New History" by Laurence Rees. I am also a big fan of James Patterson's collection of the Women's Murder Club stories. And as I mentioned previously, I am reading "Raising the Strong-Willed Child: The New Edition" and "Bringing Up Boys" both by Dr. James Dobson. Whew! And obviously having a 1 year old prevents me from having adequate time in my day to read. Sad.

I had read a lot of reviews about the book "Everyone is Beautiful" by Katherine Center so I ordered it on Amazon.com. I haven't put it down yet. That book jumped into the front of the line and hasn't allowed me to read any of the other books that have been waiting for months and months for me to finish!

For all of you stay-at-home moms out there, READ IT. I promise it will make you feel so much better about your days, your body and your life in general. Sometimes, I feel so alone in my "career field" as a stay-at-home mom. So being able to read a fiction novel about someone who's life is much crazier than mine yet she's handling it with such humor makes my day. And for you ladies considering starting a family, READ IT. I promise you it will make you enjoy the mornings you can sleep in a bit later or the days you actually get to shower and put on make-up or go to the gym without having a little man hanging on your leg as you walk out of the door. This mom gives it 2 thumbs up!